Seasons
by AnimeCountDown
Summary: The best things in life always take time. A gift for the lovely homra-kid. AkuRoku. Warning: Yaoi/Modern.
1. Chapter 1

"Why do you have to be such a killjoy?" Sora whined as he made the finishing touches to his costume in the mirror. Roxas peered at him quietly over the top of his book. "It wouldn't kill you to just loosen up and have some fun every now and then. You shouldn't keep yourself all cooped up like this."

"For me, this _is_ fun," Roxas answered patiently, returning his gaze to his pages, but it was impossible to focus on anything written there.

"How can sitting around by yourself on Halloween be fun?" Sora snapped, refusing to believe him. He whirled around, cape fluttering as he spun. Tonight, Sora was a full-fledged vampire. Complete with a high-collared cloak, tiny wings stapled to his back, and fake fangs, Sora had accomplished quite the...cheesy look. Hands on his hips, he gave Roxas a firm glare. "The whole point of Halloween is to dress up and enjoy the holiday! You can sit around and read any other day! What's the harm in taking advantage of the day?"

"Because I have no interest in playing dress-up," Roxas sighed, leaning his head back on his pillow and gazing up at the ceiling wearily. "Besides, someone has to stay behind and pass candy out for the kids. I'll do my Halloween duty that way."

"Oh, _come on_," Sora groaned, moving up next to him on the bed and leaning over him with that determined look in his eye. "Grandma can pass out candy just fine on her own. It's _your_ job to be a kid for once in your life and actually do something appropriate for your freakin' age. Stop being such a coward, man."

"I am not a coward because I don't want to go to your party," Roxas answered, eyes fixated on that one brown spot on the ceiling. "Besides, I don't have a costume anyway."

"You can wear one of mine from last year or something!" Sora suggested, dancing over to the closet excitedly, as if he'd made some kind of progress. He threw open the doors and scaled up to the top shelf, dragging down a huge plastic box and dropping it on the floor. "Or you could wear one of the ones I bought this year and decided not to wear!"

"Sora, I still don't want to go," Roxas said, twisting his head so he could watch his cousin. But Sora wasn't even listening anymore. Instead, he was busy pulling out one costume after another and holding them up briefly.

"Look, you could be a...fireman," he said excitedly, throwing that costume to the side before Roxas could even respond, not that he'd planned on saying anything at all. Sora moved too fast for him sometimes. "Or a police officer. What about a gladiator? Zorro? A pirate, maybe? Oh! Oh, a zombie! That would cool! What about that?"

"Are all the costumes you have so..._theatrical_?" Roxas inquired, turning onto his side and setting his book to the side. He'd given up on reading any more of it until Sora was gone.

"Well, duh," Sora snorted, rummaging through the bin in search of the perfect alter ego for Roxas. "That's kind of the point. Going overboard is the best part of Halloween. You can either be super silly or super sexy or super scary, but you have to be super _something_."

"What if you don't want to be super something?" Roxas asked, to which Sora laughed dismissively.

"Then you might as well just stay home," he scoffed. Roxas waited the five seconds it took his cousin to realize what he'd just admitted to. Sora paused, then scowled unappreciatively at Roxas for out-smarting him. "Now I'm definitely not letting you stay here."

"What's the point of me going, Sora?" Roxas sighed, tracing lines on the sheets with his finger. "Everyone there is probably a friend of yours, not mine. I don't want to dress up. I don't like crowded or noisy places... I mean...I just wouldn't have a good time."

"Why are you so scared, Rox?" Sora asked, sinking back onto his knees. He tilted his head in what looked to be a mixture of disappointment and pity.

"I'm not scared," Roxas said, shrugging. "I just... I know how it'll be if I go. I won't talk to anybody. I'll be alone the whole time. And annoyed. It's best if I just pretend it isn't even happening."

"_Please_?" Sora insisted. "Look, you don't have to dress up really crazy if you don't want to. But at least give it a shot. If you get bored, I'll take you home before I drink anything."

"Oh, right," Roxas muttered, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "I forgot about the drinking."

"Spare me your high and mighty, goody-goody moral lessons," Sora replied, holding up a hand and shaking his head. "I really don't want to hear it right now. But will you go with me, huh? It'll be fun. I'm sure someone you like will be there. Hell, _everyone's_ gonna be there."

"Fine," Roxas groaned, planting his hand on his forehead and kicking himself for giving in. "I'll go if it makes you happy, but don't expect me to have a good time."

"Yes!" Sora exclaimed, tossing the costumes in each of his hands up in the air. Roxas watched them flutter back to the floor in the now disastrous pile of cheap clothing. "Now, what are you going to _be_?"

"I really don't look stupid...?"

"Why would I let you go out looking stupid?" Sora sighed, shaking his head at him as though it was obvious. "You're my cousin, idiot. You have to look good, or it reflects badly on me, you know. You look fine."

"I feel ridiculous," Roxas argued, looking down at himself. It wasn't as bad as it could have been...but still. The entire prospect of dressing up as someone else felt...absurd. And childish. "Why did I agree to this?"

"Because you know I'm right about everything, even if you don't want to admit it sometimes," Sora replied easily, and as they turned down the next street, their destination appeared plainly before them. A decent home, teeming with teenagers and lights. Roxas thought he could even hear the music from here. He shrank a little as they approached, which Sora immediately noticed. "Don't be such a girl, Rox."

"That's not funny," he snapped, earning him an apologetic smile.

"You know that's not what I meant," he said, nudging him playfully. "Come on, you'll have fun, I promise."

"The last time you promised me I'd have fun," Roxas muttered, playing with the sleeves of his cloak uncomfortably, "I ended up with a broken wrist."

"You _know_ that wasn't my fault," Sora insisted, shrugging off the memories with a grimace and a grin. "It was totally an accident. But hey, stop whining! We're almost there!"

"Yes, your majesty," he consented, deflating and hurrying after his enthusiastic cousin. Though not eager to join the frey bustling before them, he wasn't more inclined to get left behind.

Roxas didn't recognize the house, but Sora seemed to navigate it fine once they got up the porch steps and past the front door. Instinctively, Roxas glued himself to Sora as the masses closed in around them. From the outside, the house had radiated light, but now they were inside, he could hardly see a thing. Everything was dim and crowded, the air darkened further by a permanent haze of smoke. They waded through their classmates, some who Roxas recognized, others who were too old for him to know from his own classes. But Sora was a stranger to no one. He was greeted at every turn, so warmly and excitedly, Roxas just wanted to turn tail and run right back out the door. He hung on tight, though, against his greater wishes to flea the hustle and the noise.

Oh, the noise. As if the thundering music wasn't bad enough...it was so loud, everyone around them had to yell over it in order to be heard. Which only made matters worse. Sora didn't seem to mind. No one else did either. But Roxas' head pounded so fiercely, he thought it might explode.

Somehow they ended up in a kitchen. It was brighter, somewhat quieter, and not as crowded in here. A few kids hung around chatting, most of whom said hello to Sora as they entered. He replied in turn with a few cheeky remarks as a couple girls giggled over his costume. Sora wasn't a big guy. In fact, he wasn't much bigger than Roxas himself, but he had a personality that more than made up for it. Besides, he wasn't a bad looking guy in general-aside from their unfortunate size, Roxas' family was more or less blessed with good genes. So girls were all the time flocking to Sora.

"Want something to drink?" Sora asked over his shoulder at Roxas, who didn't have time to answer before his cousin was already pouring something for the both of them. _So much for not drinking..._

"What a surprise, Roxas," a girl laughed. She was perched atop the countertop, dressed in a red kimono with billowing sleeves and a dangerous hemline. As elaborately as her hair was done, its impossible-to-acheive auburn color was unmistakable. Roxas blushed as Kairi, queen of their class, flashed him a not-so-modest smile. "I wouldn't have expected you to tag along to a party like this."

"I was dragged against my will," Roxas managed with a bitter smile. Kairi and her friends laughed at that-he occasionally had luck amusing them if he was sarcastic enough. "Blame Sora."

"Don't be like that!" Sora said, thrusting a red plastic cup into his chest. Roxas took it with a heavy sigh. "You know you want to be here, deep down inside."

"It's always the quiet ones," Kairi joked, nudging the friend to her right with her leg. If Kairi was Queen B, Namine was her favorite henchmen. Neither were _mean _girls, so long as they weren't challenged, but they ruled the school with a perfected aura of confidence. But while Kairi was the mouth, Namine was the eyes and ears. Quiet, demure, and gorgeous. She was dressed in white, head to toe, with fluffy white wings and a halo to match. The difference between her and Roxas, though, was that Roxas truly preferred his solitude, and Namine's shyness was all a pretense-or so the rumors went. "Even Namine here is having a good time, aren't you?"

"Of course," she replied, voice eeriely smooth as she cocked her head to the side and gave Roxas once of her signature "dangerous" looks. He'd personally seen her disarm the worst of their teachers with that look.

"See," Sora laughed, bumping his shoulder with his own. "Lighten up."

"I'm guessing the costume was last minute?" Kairi teased, leaning forward on her knees. The top of her kimono slipped down, revealing more of the tops of her breasts. Roxas pressed his lips together and shrugged.

"It was Sora's idea," Roxas defended. "Like I said, I didn't want to come, so I wasn't exactly prepared..."

"It's cute," Namine said sweetly, and then sauntered over with a few flutters of her eyelashes. Roxas didn't move as she approached, didn't move as she draped her arms over his shoulders and posed at his side. "See? We're opposites."

"He wouldn't wear anything fun," Sora pouted, tilting his head in blatant envy as Namine let her fingers trail across Roxas' collarbone. "That was the best I could do."

"I like it," Namine giggled. "But maybe it'd look scarier with the hood up?"

"Oo, try it," Kairi laughed, along with a chorus of agreement from the rest of them. Namine flipped it up, ignoring Roxas' scowl, and getting the rest of them to laugh even more. "Oh, geez, that just makes him look adorable!"

"You don't make a very convincing Grim Reaper," Namine let him know with a small smile. Roxas sighed. "You should have worn some makeup, or a wig or something."

"I told you, he wouldn't wear any of that stuff," Sora said, leaning against the island. His enthusiasm over Roxas being doted on was quite depleted. "The black cloak was all I could do."

"And you did very well," Kairi teased, reaching over to ruffle Sora's brown locks. He pouted for only a moment more before seeming relatively satisfied with the extra attention, turning away from Roxas. "Let's go dance or something."

"Sure," she agreed, sliding off the counter lithely. Her dress hitched up a couple extra inches, enough to show how much she _wasn't_ wearing underneath. Roxas might have sworn he saw Sora drool a little if he didn't know any better.

"Don't get too bored, sweetie," Namine suggested, kissing him lightly on the cheek before flitting off after her master and the other minions. Roxas sighed, relieved to see them go.

It wasn't that he didn't _like _Kairi or Namine, or any of the others really. It was just that they could exhaust him very easily, and sometimes he just didn't feel up to dealing with their antics. As Sora's cousin, he had an automatic invitation to what was considered the "in crowd" but more often than not, Roxas being around only led to him getting teased and picked on. Not in a malicious way... It was more like he was the cute pet all the girls liked to dote over. And the kid brother all the guys got to mess with.

With the kitchen now empty, Roxas was tempted to hide in here for a while longer, but he knew the peace wouldn't last long. After all, this was the beer room, and sooner or later, someone would come in search of the precious liquid. Sighing, he slipped into the next room, keeping to the sidelines and squirming his way around the crowds of dancing teens.

The only good thing about parties like this was that, despite all the noise and all the people, it was more or less easy to disappear. When kids came to have a good time and drink together, no one was looking for the quiet kid in the corner. That was the guy everyone forgot about, ignored, or didn't notice. And until Sora was ready to go home, Roxas was content in his corner, being unseen and unheard.

He glanced down at the drink in his hands. With all the dim lighting, it was impossible to distinguish what color it was. From here, it really just looked like a big pool of black. He'd drunk a couple of times before, every time due to one of Sora's antics. His schemes to get Roxas to act like a normal high school student seemed to never cease. The alcohol had never been something he felt like he needed, but it had been able to loosen him up in some social situations. He wasn't much louder or more outgoing or anything. Just less irritable and anxious, he supposed. He took a big gulp and instantly grimaced.

He just wished it didn't taste like shit.

Pursing his lips, he forced himself to stomach just a little bit more. He needed something to take his mind off this dull situation, and if drinking himself silly made that happen, more power to...well, the alcohol he supposed. And what a powerful thing it was.

It was as he was lowering his cup that he noticed _him_.

Roxas' first thought was something along the lines of _Holy shit_. He froze where he was, wavering as he caught a glimpse of him from across the room, mind blank of everything in that moment. As his vision cleared up and his mind returned to functioning capacity, a million thoughts ran through his mind. He was an older kid, that much was obvious. Tall, lean, maybe an athlete, dressed for the party in what looked like a Victorian Era ,British soldier's uniform. He had dark hair-he couldn't tell what color because of the lighting-tied up in a long, thin ponytail. His eyes were sharp, his features refined, and his smile as sinful as murder. Roxas had never seen a man more beautiful.

Shuddering, he forced himself to look away. No. He would not put himself through this. He'd seen it happen way too many times, had hovered on the edge of that mistake enough to know that falling for someone-anyone-while he was in high school was bad news. Casual or semi-serious crushes or relationships might be harmless for people like Sora or Kairi, but for a _gay guy_? No way.

It was suicide. Still, he couldn't help but sneak another glance over the rim of his cup. He was laughing now. He had one of those throw-your-head-back-and-really-laugh kind of laughs. Roxas couldn't hear him, far away as they were, but that smile of his... Roxas took a deep breath and held it. He was busy joking around with a few other people Roxas didn't recognize. No one from his high school, at least, and seniors by the looks of it, if not older He held a dark glass bottle in his left hand. He held it gingerly between the tips of his fingers as he talked, only taking it by the neck with his entire hand when he wanted a swig. He even drank beautifully. Roxas could see it in his Adam's apple every time he swallowed. A lovely, defined Adam's apple that looked so ready to be licked and sucked...

And then suddenly their eyes met.

Roxas felt his eyes pop open wide, his blood turn cold, as those razor eyes caught him mid-ogle. At first, he hoped the guy was only _looking_ in his direction. But no. Because that deadly smile drained away, and one of his thin eyebrows slowly cocked upward. There was no mistaking it, as the older boy tilted his head one way, took another drink, and didn't laugh in unison with his friends the next time someone cracked a joke. His eyes were right on Roxas.

His first instinct was too flee. It was the only thing he knew how to do in situations like this, rare as they were. Tucking his head down in his chest, Roxas inched back along the way he'd come, trying his hardest to remain out of sight. He had to ignore his racing heart, ignore the painful reminder that he was stuck on his own. All he wanted was to walk right over to that guy, yank his head down, and kiss him with everything he had. He wanted to pull him onto a bed, and make a mess of each other all night long. His cock pressed against his pants at the mere idea of it. Oh, how he longed for a romance like that so badly. How he longed for a romance at all. Being the quiet kid got pretty lonely, and sixteen years was a damn long time to go with no sexual contact. Except with himself. If you counted that.

He paused just outside the kitchen entryway, glancing over his shoulder in spite of himself. His eyes flitted to the place where the mysterious boy had just been, but the more he searched, the more it became obvious he wasn't there. Yep, those were the friends he'd just been hanging with...but hotty was nowhere to be seen. Sighing in both disappointment and relief, Roxas returned to the kitchen with his head hung in defeat. A group of people he recognized from his grade were just leaving as he entered. They shouted at him in greeting, but thankfully didn't linger. He just smiled and nodded in acknowledgement as they passed each other.

He found himself at the sink, where he poured out the small remainder of his drink and filled the cup with water instead. It went down pretty easily, and Roxas drank nearly the entire thing at once. He leaned over the sink and poured the rest on top of his head, to see if he couldn't clear it up a little.

"Lightweight, huh?"

Roxas whirled around, slamming the cup onto the counter beside him and flinging water in the process. Not four feet away did he stand. Taller than he'd realized, with flaming red hair, and devilish emerald eyes that glinted in amusement at Roxas' reaction. He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, looking 100% ravishing, costume and all.

"Uh...what?" It was really all Roxas could manage. The boy-a man, really, now that Roxas could see him up close-tsked out the corner of his mouth and pushed himself off the door frame to come a few steps closer. Roxas immediately moved to take a step away, but the counter was already pressed to his back.

"Dumping water on your head to see if you can't get rid of that migraine?" he asked, eyebrow cocked, moving in steadily. Roxas flinched as he lifted a hand and deftly flicked aside a limp, damp strand of hair. "Or maybe...you got a little too hot?"

"_No!_" Roxas denied, then bit his lip as the guy's brow rose in interest. In disbelief. Roxas looked away, frantically searching for some form of sense in all this chaos. But his heart was beating too hard, and his head felt like it was full of air. He couldn't focus. "Um... I mean, I just..."

"Of course," he laughed, and he had a laugh that matched his smile. "You were just..."

"I don't normally drink, but I can manage half a cup," he snapped, but his attempt at intimidation only earned him another fascinated smirk. Gritting his teeth, he continued, "What's it to a stranger anyway?"

"An excuse to talk to you, obviously," he retorted, so smoothly, so charmingly, so confidently, Roxas stopped breathing. Just all together stopped. Until the redhead bent his head a little closer, fingers playing with a couple more strands of hair. "I didn't think you'd be so cute."

"I..." Whatever words Roxas was trying to get out were stuck in his throat. Hell, he didn't even know what he was trying to say-he only knew that he needed to say _something_. "I..."

"How about you and I find a...quieter place to get to know one another, hm?" he suggested lowly, lips nearing closer...and closer... Roxas' lower lip trembled. He could _taste_ his breath. "Somewhere we won't be interrupted?"

"I... I don't think that's a good idea," Roxas finally muttered, turning his head away and trying to escape, but the guy's arms were suddenly on either side of him, trapping him in. "I need to go now...please..."

"What's with the way you were staring at me, then?" he whispered lowly at his ear. Roxas bit the inside of his cheek as soft lips just barely brushed his skin. "You're telling me you got me all horny for nothing?"

Roxas had no words. He had no sounds. Only a tiny whimper, that the older boy chuckled at gently.

"Come on," he urged, and suddenly one of his hands was gripping Roxas' chin, turning his head, and those flashing green eyes captured his. Roxas melted, let his lips part, let the strange young man tilt their mouths together. "Good boy..."

"_Yo!_"

Oh, shit.

"Get your filthy hands off my cousin, bastard!"

The redhaired boy tsked again, his mouth so close to Roxas', he felt the little puff of air on his face. Face the brightest of reds, Roxas ducked his head away as the boy straightened up and cast an irritated glance behind him. There in the doorway stood Sora, looking not nearly as threatening as he probably thought he did. Sora wasn't a big guy to begin with, but that costume made him look like an even bigger idiot. The look on his face, though, said there were no games about what he'd just said. And the rather large group of onlookers lurking behind him said it wasn't about to end in a friendly little pissing contest.

"Get lost, would ya?" the stranger said, sounding annoyed rather than intimidated. Shocker. "He's a big boy. He can take care of himself."

"Shut up," Sora snapped, balling his fists at his sides. "Get away from him. He isn't used to creeps like you."

"I'm pretty sure, if he wanted to get away from me," he snorted, running his hand along Roxas' cheek smoothly. "He'd actually try to leave."

"Well we _are_ leaving," Sora snapped, and moved forward to grab his cousin's wrist without any more arguing. Just like that, Roxas was yanked out from beneath the strange man's shadow, out from beneath his hypnotic green eyes and that lovely, terrible smirk. Though now it'd been replaced with a scowl. But even that was handsome on him. "The hell's with you, Rox? You trying to get raped or something?"

"I can walk on my own, thank you," he replied indignantly, yanking his hand from Sora's grasp. His cousin turned on him, but Roxas beat him to it. "I appreciate the concern, but you don't always have to be so damn protective. I was handling it."

"You were about to get molested!" Sora shouted, and Roxas had to bite his lip to refrain from yelling back. It wasn't often he said cruel things to his cousin, and he wasn't about to in front of half the town. "You wanted to go home? Fine. We're going home. Now."

And that was that. No ifs or buts about it. As Sora grabbed Roxas' arm again, the blonde couldn't help but glance back at the strange redhaired man, who had crossed his arms and propped himself on the counter. Even as they disappeared into the crowd of bystanders, that hungry, predatory look followed Roxas all the way home.

* * *

"You didn't have to embarrass me in front of everyone like that, though," Roxas hissed as they walked through the front door and locked it behind them. All the lights were out, and their grandma was already in bed. They tiptoed their way to their room, which was thankfully not near hers. "You brought way too much attention to it."

"Well, if you hadn't been so damn helpless, you would have noticed that the majority of those people were watching you two before I even got there!" Sora growled, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at him. Roxas paused, frowning and looking to Sora hesitantly. The question was in his eyes. "_Yeah, _you dumby. It's why I went over there to check it out in the first place. I thought it'd be something cool, you know? But instead it's my baby cousin about to make out with the creepiest guy of the century!"

"He wasn't that creepy," Roxas defended weakly, turning away and hugging himself uncertainly. Everyone had been watching them? That was the exact kind of thing he wanted to avoid... It wasn't a secret that he was gay, to anyone, but he'd avoided relationships because of the kind of gawking attention it got. Like he was some circus spectacle. "He was just...flirting..."

"He looked like he wanted to eat you," Sora muttered, plopping down onto his bed. Roxas glowered at him.

"What's so wrong with that?" he shot back, warranting a half-shocked, half-grossed-out look. "It's not like _you_ haven't given that look to Kairi a million times."

"Yeah, well, Kairi's a-" He bit back his next word, even though it was obvious what he'd been about to say. Roxas turned away again, even as Sora sighed and started over a little calmer. "Look, Rox, it's just that... I know Kairi, okay? She's like...a friend, you know? But you don't know that guy. He can be dangerous."

"Oh, what, like you know him?" Roxas asked, looking down at the floor. There was a brief pause.

"His name is Axel." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Roxas whipped his head around and blinked at him, but his cousin was totally deadpan. "He graduated two years ago, and now he goes to the community college."

"How do _you_ know _that_?" Roxas demanded, to which Sora shrugged.

"I know everything about this town," he answered simply, but sobered up a little to say, "But there are some pretty vicious rumors about that guy. I mean, it's pretty rare to see him hanging with a bunch of high schoolers, so I've never even considered running into him. But I... I want you to stay away from him, okay?"

"Why?" Roxas asked, genuinely curious this time. "What did he do that's so bad?"

"Well...he'll sleep with just about anything for starters," Sora informed him, leaning back onto his mattress. Roxas walked over and sat opposite him on his own bed. "So getting with someone like that is probably the dumbest thing you could ever do. Talk about a walking STD."

"Not funny," Roxas said, insistent on defending this stranger he'd been terrified of-whether he'd admit that little detail or not-just a few minutes ago. "Even so, that makes him gross, not evil."

"He's been to jail," Sora added, and that one threw Roxas for a loop.

"Really?" he asked, eyes going wide.

"Don't look so damn impressed by that!" Sora yelled, to which Roxas looked away quickly and stubbornly. He wasn't _impressed_... It was just...interesting. "Some type of domestic violence thing, I think."

"You _think_?" Roxas snorted. "That's not very reliable, Mr. I-Know-Everything-About-This-Town."

"Shut it!" Sora commanded, then softened, "Just stay away from him, okay?"

"What's it matter now?" Roxas said, rolling his eyes and standing to discard his costume and get dressed. "Where am I going to run into a guy like that ever again? The library? Starbucks? I'll make sure to keep my mace with me wherever I go."

"It's not a joke, Rox," Sora insisted, grabbing him by the shoulder and turning him around. "I mean, the guy knew you were free game just by looking at you."

"I don't exactly scream hetero, you know," Roxas muttered, glaring at him. "Unless you forgot, it's always been pretty easy for people to figure out."

"No..." Sora glanced away. The memories were as bad for him as they were Roxas. Well. Maybe not as bad. But he had more nightmares about them. "I remember."

"Well, it's no big deal, okay?" Roxas promised, looking his cousin in the eye. "I won't even see the guy again. But hey, maybe next time you won't drag me to your lame parties."

"It wasn't lame!" Sora countered, practically frothing again. "In fact, I think I was about to convince Kairi to finally go out with me when you screwed everything up!"

"Blame everything on the gay cousin," Roxas sighed pathetically, to which Sora snarled again.

"Quit trying to make me look like a homophobe!"

"But you make it so easy..."

Eventually, somehow, they both got to sleep.

But Axel, the stranger, remained not too far from Roxas' conscious all the while.

* * *

**Hello, everyone! I know I've promised other things, but it simply can't be helped. Until I get Microsoft Word on my new laptop, all my files concerning previous fanfictions are unattainable. So, I'm trying really hard to give you guys some extra stuff while you wait. The first chapter to the sequel of Chains/Birth IS coming. I promise. For anybody interested, I'm also trying to pump out a couple Ouran High School oneshots, a oneshot for The Legend of Korra before Season 2 comes out, and the fifth chapter of Mute, which has been on hiatus for...well, you know me. It's probably been a couple years. **

**Anyway, this entire fanfiction is dedicated to homra-kid, who was kind enough to inform me that a certain author on this website (OtakuYaoiGuy101) decided to take Chains and re-write it, after I declined his request to do so. He took down the story, but blocked me and asked his readers to message me with requests to let him continue re-writing my story. Safe to say, no such thing has happened and everything seems quite resolved. Back to the point though, because she was very good to me by helping me sort this entire mess out. I appreciated the selfless act very much, and wanted to do something in return. So this story is for her. I hope you enjoy! ^-^ **

**I will say, this first chapter is my least favorite. Perhaps it's so lack luster because I was planning on making this a oneshot when I started it, so I didn't really go for a huge hook or anything (and the ending to it is HORRIBLE, I am SO sorry about that). However, my inspiration for this story is coming directly from Junjou Romantica and Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi. I've literally been doing nothing the past few days (in my new apartment, with nothing else to do) watching every season of both those shows (as well as Black Butler) and writing simultaneously. I'm not taking anything, but I think those who are familiar with my writing style might find it different for this story than in my previous ones. It's a bit more...anime-esque, if that makes any more sense. So the next couple chapters are much more interesting, I think. Either way, I hope you like it very much and keep on reading! Remember to tell me what you think! **

**AnimeCountDown**


	2. Chapter 2

About two weeks went by. In that time, Halloween had come and gone, and any rumors or whispers about the party had vanished quickly. It was mid-November, which meant kids were getting ready for Thanksgiving break, and that was much more exciting than seeing Sora's cousin _almost _kiss Axel Lee. Apparently, the encounter had given Roxas a little more respect at that. Simply being associated with the guy made him...cooler.

Not that Roxas cared. Every time the subject surfaced, Sora was eager to shove it back underwater to make sure it drowned. It happened at lunch a lot. At first, Kairi and the others just wanted to know all the juicy details-apparently, Axel was _so _hot, one of those "look but don't be stupid enough to touch" kind of guys-and that alone drove Sora crazy. So then everyone started bringing it up _just to_ piss Sora off. Because, Roxas couldn't lie, it was pretty funny when his cousin got pissed. He was a little dude, but had one of the fieriest personalities of anyone Roxas knew.

But as the holiday drew near, and it became less and less fun to poke at Sora's nerves, Roxas eventually became the same kid tag-along he always was. Sora's shadow. And he was okay with that. It wasn't like he wanted or needed the attention anyway.

"Yo, Rox, you listening?" Sora asked, nudging him hard in the shoulder as they emptied their lockers for the day. Roxas wavered, glaring at his cousin and rubbing his arm. "I said I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat with the guys. Did you want to come or do you have school stuff to do?"

"I've actually gotten pretty behind," Roxas sighed, shaking his head. "I think I'm going to go to the library today. I'll probably be there until late."

"Oh, you're so cute when you're nerdy," Sora teased, reaching over to pinch his cheek. Roxas smacked his hand away impatiently. "Aw, don't be bitter."

"Don't be an asshole," he muttered, shoving the rest of what he needed into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He shut his locker door and promptly began walking away.

"Hey!" Sora shouted after him, slamming his own locker shut and chasing after him. "What's got you all pissy?"

"Nothing," Roxas assured him, offering a mild smile to convince. "Just tired. I have a lot to do is all."

"Well it's your own damn fault," Sora snorted. "You overload yourself to the point of no return. It's a wonder you're not dead."

"I'm not overworked..." Roxas said quietly, shifting the weight of his bag. It was an ever-occurring discussion between he, Sora, and his grandmother. They were constantly telling him to drop one of his extracurriculars or take a break for a while. "I can handle it."

"Everyone knows you can handle it, Rox," Sora said, tilting his head. He knew he'd lose if he turned it into a fight. "We just worry that you're not really happy. It's like...you never have any free time."

"I do have free time," Roxas argued. "It's just that I'm maximizing the potential of my free time. I don't like sitting around and hanging out with nothing to do. I'd rather be studying or working on my next project."

"You so need to get laid," Sora muttered. It earned him a nicely aimed kick to the shin, but as he whined about the pain and limped to keep up, he didn't take back what he said. "You never relax! Don't you think a gi-I mean.. a guy...or whatever, would help you take your mind off stuff?"

"Relationships make things complicated," Roxas replied firmly, pushing open the front door to the school and heading without hesitation down the steps. "No matter how you look at it, they make one thing or another messy. I don't have time for that right now."

"Then don't get in a relationship," Sora said, getting him another seething glare. "What? There is nothing wrong with a little casual fling to help loosen you up."

"There is," Roxas snapped. "It's irresponsible, and it's not my style. I'm too emotional to handle something like that anyway."

"Is this about you losing your virginity?"

"_Sora_!" Roxas whirled around, fist smacking right into the side of his idiot cousin's head. The brunette stumbled onto his knees, but took the hit with grace and didn't get up until he'd pouted a little.

"Touchy subject?" he asked, peering up at Roxas innocently.

"You seriously need a filter," he fumed, then waved him off and began walking down the sidewalk again. "Go with your friends. I don't need your advice."

He thought he might have heard his cousin say something as he was walking away, but he was too busy being pissed to listen. Regardless of how you looked at it, Sora had gone too far. If he really wanted to talk to him about something...like _that_, he should have waited until they were at least at home. In private. Where people couldn't overhear their conversation and have something else to talk about when they got bored. Being openly gay in high school was one thing, but being a gay virgin? Well, nobody really seemed to think about it. The whole gay thing was such a big deal, nobody had ever inquired about his sex life, and Roxas meant to keep it that way. He didn't want anybody getting any ideas and poking their nose into business that wasn't even really there.

It wasn't like Roxas was ashamed of it or anything... It was just more fuel. And he wanted to keep this one to himself. Waiting until it was right... Well, maybe it was stupid. Maybe it would never be right and he was just wasting precious time by looking for something that wouldn't ever happen. That's how Sora had described it. He said the only people who cared about saving their virginity for someone special were girls. But well...Roxas was kind of a lot like a girl. Sometimes...he thought he'd been born in the wrong body.

He'd see girls with their pretty long hair, their makeup, and accessories. The vast variety of clothing they had compared to men. They could choose the length of their shorts or the style of their jeans, the cut of their shirts and blouses, decide to layer or keep it simple. And guys could do that, too, he guessed, but only to an extent. He was a guy. T-shirt and pants. His choices were limited to khaki or denim. Sometimes, Roxas just didn't think it was fair. Guys were put in a box, whereas girls had so many more chances at creative expression. He was jealous, plain and simple.

That night on Halloween. He'd seen Kairi and Namine in their beautiful costumes, and all the other girls who had been there at that party. You could be anything you wanted as a girl. But as a guy? There wasn't that much to pick from. There was no sexy or mysterious. It was...boring.

The library was quiet as ever. Everything in this town was very distinctively suburbian, so just about any place Roxas needed to go was within walking distance. Most kids these days opted for the cafes when in need of a quiet place to do their homework. Sometimes, Roxas did too. He liked the coffee aroma and the cute little pastries in the windows. He liked the vibe, the shadowy corners, and the modernness of it. But sometimes, a little old-fashioned library goodness was just what he needed. Near-empty, full of leathery-smelling books, and timelessness. He hadn't been in a while, probably over a month, actually. But even so, the librarian at the front desk greeted him with a quiet hello and a kind, familiar smile.

They exchanged a few words, and then Roxas wandered into the depths of the library to find a good place to do his work. He liked the tables in the corner, by the window. Lots of natural light, just by the first of the aisles, so he could slip away if he needed to find something. It was a rather large library, one that was well-funded and had been around for a long enough time, it probably could be considered a historic building. He found his favorite spot, happy to see nobody within seeing or hearing distance.

He settled down and began pulling one book out after another, organizing everything in front of him according to class or extracurricular activity. Everything concerning science in one pile, his English in the next, French in the corner... What needed to be prioritized came first, and he put those things nearest to his work space. The extra stuff or things he had more time to work on were set in the back. It wasn't long before the entire table was consumed by his work.

He was finishing up his political debate paper when a sour, uncomfortable feeling struck him solidly in the chest. Frowning, he paused and looked up from his laptop to survey the section of the library he'd quarantined himself to. It was as empty as it had been the entire time he'd been there thus far, but the feeling in the back of his mind didn't go away. It was... Roxas would swear someone was watching him. He sat back in his chair for a few more moments, waiting and watching and listening. No one was there, not within sight, at least. He cast a paranoid glance toward the towering bookshelves to his right.

Roxas shook himself, cracking his knuckles before turning back to the paper at hand. There was no way anyone was hiding in the library. Even if someone had wandered in and was roaming the aisles in search of a book, there was no way they would stop to watch a scrawny, nerdy kid doing his homework. That would simply be absurd.

But even so, the feeling he couldn't shake was seriously starting to distract him. He couldn't write more than a couple sentences before needing to look up and check to see if he was still alone. Sighing, Roxas pushed his chair out and stood up. He couldn't just ignore it anymore. If he wanted to get anything done, he'd need to just double check and make sure for himself. Really quick. He'd see that nobody was nearby or watching him and then he'd be able to get back to work. Telling himself he was being silly, he ventured toward the first shelf and slowly peered around the corner.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he actually found someone standing there.

"And here I was trying to find the courage to come talk to you," Axel quipped, leaning on the shelf just in front of him with one raised arm. He leaned forward, his charming smile disarming any process of thought Roxas might have managed. "How have you been, cutie?"

"What on earth are you doing here?" Roxas demanded, taking an immediate step back. Axel's brow rose some in mild surprise at his outburst. "Are you following me?"

"Awfully full of yourself, aren't you?" Axel teased, smirking when Roxas spluttered in disagreement. He gave a careless shrug as he answered Roxas' first question, "I work here, for your information."

Roxas blinked. Sure enough, though, Axel gestured behind him to a cart full of books needing to be returned to their places. Gaping, Roxas looked from cart to Axel, cart to Axel, dumbfounded and disbelieving. Axel gave a short little laugh and tsked in that way he so often did.

"Don't look so surprised, cutie," he said, tilting his head at him. "You're going to make me self-conscious."

"I somehow highly doubt that," Roxas muttered through bared teeth. Axel mock grimaced, putting a hand on his chest as though it hurt.

"You wound me, _Roxas_," he murmured lowly, and then, all of a sudden, he was on top of him. Roxas cried out and stumbled back, but all he accomplished was getting himself firmly trapped against the shelf behind him. Axel leaned in close, so close Roxas' face flushed all warm and red with a single heartbeat. "Now, now, don't get too loud. This is a library after all."

"What is wrong with you?" Roxas hissed, shoving at Axel's chest, but the older boy was too big and Roxas couldn't even begin to budge him. "You can't just pin people to walls and molest them whenever you feel like it!"

"Aw, you don't really think of me like that, do you?" Axel asked, that smile never leaving his pretty mouth.

"I don't know you at all!" Roxas pointed out furiously. Axel tilted his head back and laughed, making Roxas pause and take in that beautifully long, elegant throat. Damn, what a lovely throat...

"But you want to, don't you?" Axel whispered, so deeply, Roxas' member twitched in automatic response. "I can see it every time you look at me. You want me as much as I do you."

"Kn-knock it off," Roxas muttered in reply, rather weakly, to his own dismay. He didn't sound convincing at all... And Axel didn't think so either.

"You can't lie to me," he warned, reaching up to touch Roxas' lower lip with his index finger gingerly. "And neither can your annoying cousin. Just give in. You'll be glad you did."

"Stop it!" Roxas yelled, hitting away his hand and darting through the opening Axel had accidentally created. Roxas wasted no time in hurrying to his table and dumping everything into his bag. Over his shoulder, he snapped, "Find someone else to bother! Leave me alone!"

"Well, you see, I can't do that," Axel said cheerfully, but his eyes narrowed as he grew more serious, "Once I find someone I want... I don't give up until I've had them."

"Get over it," Roxas snapped, throwing his bag over his shoulder and heading for the main lobby.

Axel didn't try to stop him or say anything as he walked away. Roxas didn't know if Axel watched him go or not. He used every ounce of his strength not to look back.

* * *

Telling Sora about his run-in with Axel was, in every manner, a huge mistake. So, until later that day, he'd have to make sure he avoided any place Sora might be. He'd said he was going out with his friends, which could last anywhere from an hour to all day. For now, he'd do best to avoid downtown and any popular cafes nearby. Sora wasn't picky about his hang-out areas; he was more concerned with who he was with rather than where. That besides, if Sora saw that Roxas had left the library early, after he'd told him how much work he had to do, there would be a demand for explanation. So he couldn't really go home either, because if Sora decided to retire early, the same thing would happen.

With all the work he had to do, though...where did he go? He'd need a place with wi-fi, and fast. He hadn't been lying. He really did have a lot of work to do. He hadn't meant to lose track of time, but the end of the semester was creeping up on him faster than he's expected...at least for the last two weeks. Roxas pursed his lips together, picking up his pace and striding quickly down the sidewalk. There was no way it was because of Axel. He didn't have that much power of him...did he? He barely knew the stranger, and yet, he'd been all he could think about since he'd first laid eyes on him.

And here he was, popping up in the least expected of places! Roxas growled. That hadn't been fair at all. He'd come out of nowhere, completely catching him off guard. How was he supposed to react to something like that? Normal people didn't just...pin you to walls and pretty much blatantly _threaten_ to sexually molest you... Roxas shuddered, and he told himself it was from disgust. Or fear. Or anything else _other_ than pure, untainted desire.

Because he didn't _want _some normal guy in truth. He wanted fiery, spontaneous, insane, impossible-to-exist, only-belongs-in-books romance. He wanted what he knew didn't exist. What it seemed like Axel might be offering...but how could he? That was stupid. Utterly, completely stupid. Sora was right. Roxas just needed to stay away from that guy, because he was obviously bad news. He'd only seen him once, and he was already distracting him from his work! Well, twice now... And that wasn't making matters any better!

"Shit," Roxas cursed, stopping and running his hands through his air in frustration. How was he supposed to do anything with Axel in his head? He was just so... Roxas looked down at the cement solemnly.

_He knew my name..._ But did that even mean anything? Roxas knew _his_ name after all, and that was only because Sora had told him. So there was no telling how or why Axel knew his name. Somebody at the party had probably told him once they'd left. That was all. He wasn't really interested in _him_. Roxas was only a pretty face to him. From the sound of it, Sora had been exactly right. _"Once I find someone I want... I don't give up until I've had them."_

Roxas kept on, shoving down all his worries and desires and thoughts on the situation, and focusing on his real problem. School work. He needed to finish his school work...

* * *

Roxas and Sora didn't have much extended family, so Thanksgiving didn't involve much visiting or travelling. But their grandmother always insisted on cooking a nice, big, traditional supper for the three of them anyway. It was the cousins' duty to go to the grocery store the day before and battle through the holiday crowds.

"Why don't we just come earlier in the week?" Roxas sighed as Sora skillfully snagged the last cart available inside. The rest were either being used, or from the looks of outside, scattered around the parking lot. Receiving a couple foul scowls, the two ventured inside the bustling store.

"This is tradition, Rox!" Sora exclaimed cheerfully. "What kind of Thanksgiving would it be if you didn't get to fight over food and shit?"

Roxas didn't bother answering Sora's question. Instead, he deadpanned and followed his spunkier half around the fresh produce department. One by one, they checked off all the items on their grandma's list. Apples, potatoes, brusselsprouts, green beans, sweet potatoes, corn... They moved on to the next section, knowing from past years' experience which brands she liked best and which ones were worth the extra money or not. It was as they were browsing the shelves for cranberry sauce that Roxas caught a glimpse of an impossibly bright red color. Freezing, he leaned back, peering around Sora and down the aisle.

"No _fucking_ way," he muttered to himself, but Sora glanced up at him questioningly.

"Huh?" he asked, to which Roxas chuckled a little too nervously and smiled a little too brightly.

"Oh, nothing!" he dismissed, grabbing a couple cans and tossing them into the cart. He grabbed Sora's hand and pulled him from the aisle. "These should do; let's hurry and finish up, okay?"

"What the hell's your rush?" Sora asked, pouting at being dragged _anywhere_. "Dude, where are we going; you just passed a ton of shit we need!"

"I'll go back and get it! If we split up, we'll get done faster, right?" Roxas pointed out, pushing Sora eagerly down toward the dairy and frozen foods section. "I'll double back and get all the stuff down there, and we can meet up front once we're done."

"What's your problem, man?" Sora asked, but Roxas was already hurrying off with a forcefully cheerful wave. He left his cousin staring after him in utter confusion and disappeared down the nearest aisle.

Once out of sight, though, he leaned against the shelves and let out a big breath of air. Seriously, of all places to see that bastard, why did it have to be here? When he was with _Sora_? Roxas groaned, running his hand over his face and trying to think. If they could get out of here soon enough, maybe Axel wouldn't even notice he was here...

"Hey, there, cutie."

"_Holy shit!_" Roxas cursed, cringing away from Axel, who'd seemingly materialized right beside him. Like always, he was propped up against the shelf and towering over him like a damn giraffe. A very sexy giraffe. Roxas glowered at him. "Stop following me! What, do you work here too?"

"No, I'm just getting some groceries," he scoffed, giving Roxas one of his more amused looks. Grinning, he reached out to tug at a strand of hair near his face. "Didn't think I'd be lucky enough to run into you while I was out."

"That makes two of us," Roxas snorted, knocking aside his hand. Axel smirked at him. "Not that I feel at all lucky right now! Because I don't! If anything, you're the very epitome of bad luck!"

"So cruel," Axel sighed, then tilted his head and changed the subject. "So when are you going to give up and be mine, hm? I don't like waiting."

"Too bad," Roxas snapped, crossing his arms and looking away. "I'm not playing your stupid game. Like I said, you need to find someone else to torture."

"Hm, torture?" Axel repeated in interest, leaning in close again. "You into that kind of kinky shit?"

"Would you stop?" Roxas squealed, dodging away from him and trying to walk down the aisle. "You have no right to talk to me about things like that. We don't even know each other."

"We've been over this before, baby," Axel sighed, capturing him from behind with a firm embrace. Roxas froze, well aware of the looks they were getting from the couple at the other end of the aisle. And well aware of the hard, lean chest pressed to his back, and the strong arms holding him close, and the warm breath tickling the back of his ear. "We just keep talking in circles. Let's stop talking, hm? Get on with it..."

"I'll be getting on with absolutely nothing with you!" Roxas said, trying to squirm away, but Axel only held onto him tighter. Face red as could be, Roxas shut his eyes as Axel brushed his jawline with his lips, nuzzling his neck warmly. For a moment, he was glad Axel was holding him upright; if he hadn't been, Roxas probably would have crumbled to the floor. "St- Stop...that..."

"Such a strong little boy," Axel murmured. "I can see how hard you're trying to resist me...and quite frankly, I'm impressed. But it only makes me want you even more, my sweet Roxas. It's written all over you, how much you want to-"

"Nope!" Roxas said, pushing hard enough to break free of Axel's grip and stumbling a few feet away from him. He had to catch himself on a display stand, that wobbled threateningly, but thankfully didn't fall over. He glared over his shoulder at the older boy, but was caught off guard by the look in those eyes. Bright, calculating, hungry green eyes that watched him like they wanted to devour him and savor every bite. "You can't just...do that to people!"

"Sure I can," Axel laughed, coming near him again. Roxas scrambled backward, but Axel only reached out with a single finger, to carress the side of his cheek softly. "In the end, nobody ever complains. Why are you so adamant to keep me away?"

"Because I'm not an idiot," Roxas said, jerking his head away and backing up again, being careful not to back himself against the shelf again. He noticed briefly the aisle was empty now; he didn't know if they made him feel better or not. "I know people like you like the back of my hand. I'm not just a toy you can play with and get rid of when you're bored. Like I said, I'm not playing your stupid game."

"Oh, virtues," Axel laughed, standing up straight and running a hand through his hair. It was up, like it always was, but messier than usual, with all these little mismatched pieces hanging around his face. "You're a cute kid."

"Whatever," Roxas snapped, turned on his heel and strode away. He honestly didn't expect Axel would keep following him, but when he noticed the redhead keeping stride with him, he growled. "Shouldn't you be finishing your shopping?"

"I'm not the one in a hurry, cutie," Axel chimed. Roxas paused at the end of the aisle, glancing both ways, on the look out for Sora, before turning on Axel.

"Look," he began, and both Axel's eyebrows went up in that mild look of surprise he'd given Roxas a couple times before. "My cousin really can't see you talking to me. If he does, not only will he try to start a damn fight, but he'll give me hell for it for weeks, alright? So could you do me a favor and get lost?"

"I see," Axel said with a grin. Calculating, conniving... Roxas could see the wheels turning. "How about we make a trade?"

"Oh dear God," Roxas muttered, smacking his palm to his forehead, and then shaking his hand and consenting. "What? What do you want? And don't you dare say sex!"

"Now don't get too hasty," Axel chuckled, cocking his head. "I win my conquests fair and square, not through a bargain."

Roxas' face lit up again. Steaming, he bit the inside of his cheek until Axel continued.

"How about you give me your phone number?" Axel said, whipping out his cell phone and dangling it in front of his face. "And no giving me a fake one, because I'm going to check to see if it's right before I get out of here. Give me that one, tiny little thing, and I'll walk right through that door. Promise."

"I can't just give you my phone number!" Roxas snapped, glancing about for his cousin again. Axel shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, cool," he said, and indifferently cracked a couple knuckles. "Guess I'll be kicking your cousin's ass when he throws the first punch. No offense, but he doesn't look like he could take me, does he?"

"Asshole," Roxas muttered, and then snatched Axel's phone. He punched in his number quickly, cursing himself the entire time, before shoving it back into Axel's chest. "There. Check it and leave."

"I knew you'd see my side," Axel hummed, dialing the number. When, a couple seconds later, Roxas' phone chirped in response, Axel hung up with a victorious grin and slid his phone away.

Then, with all the grace and ease of a dancer, he bent forward, and planted a swift kiss at the corner of Roxas' mouth, ignoring it when Roxas shouted and flung himself backward to get away. But the damage was already done. Roxas could feel it, the hot press of those lips... Damn him. And the bastard was already walking away, waving coolly over his shoulder with the back of his hand, without every looking behind him.

"What a total dick," Roxas mumbled to himself as he watched the doors shut behind Axel. "Thank goodness..."

"For what?" Sora asked above him. Roxas cried out in surprise, staring up at his cousin in wide-eyed shame. Sora frowned at him. "What are you doing on the floor, man? You're so fucking weird."

Roxas deflated and climbed to his feet weakly. _Yeah._ _He _was the weird one...

* * *

**A couple chance encounters. Hope you're all enjoying. :) **

**AnimeCountDown**


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, Mr. Popular," Kairi teased, leaning over the table to try to peek at his phone. Roxas glared at her and tilted it away from her nosy, prying eyes. She quirked an eyebrow at him in challenge, but he just stared at her until she sighed and flicked her hair over her shoulder. Roxas wasn't oblivious to the other guys at the table, all oogling at Kairi's cleavage the longer she kept herself propped over the table. But Kairi knew she could use all kinds of smoldering looks and sneak peeks-they didn't work on Roxas. They never had. "Won't you tell us who your new friend is? In all the time I've known you, you seemed to detest the social networking world. And all of a sudden, you can't seem to get enough of it."

"It's just from classmates about school work," Roxas snapped, locking his phone and putting it away. He made a mental note to be more careful with it in front of his cousin's friends from now on. "Nothing you'd be interested in."

"Of course not," Kairi agreed, but her wicked smile assured him she thought otherwise.

"Alright, here we go," Sora said as he approached, setting down their orders. How he'd managed to balance them was a secret only he knew, but Sora would do whatever he could to make sure Kairi was as happy as possible. Roxas drew his Caramel Apple Spice and coffee cake from the pile as everyone grabbed what was there. "So what have all of y'all been talking about?"

"Oh, nothing you'd be interested in, Sora," Kairi giggled, nibbling on a cake pop and smiling devilishly at Roxas. "Right, Rox?"

"Hm?" Sora looked at his cousin questioningly, who took a big gulp of his drink to distract himself.

"How unpleasant," Namine murmured, attracting the attention of everyone at their table. She was looking down at her phone with a look of distaste written all over her face. Kairi leaned close to look at what she was reading, and her own mouth popped open in surprise.

"Wow," she whistled, "What a ballsy bitch."

"More chick drama?" Sora guessed, propping his chin up with his palm. Kairi shot him a superior glare.

"This kind of stuff is important," Kairi defended, but for once, Sora wasn't quick to agree with her.

"You girls just stir up all kinds of trouble," he sighed, popping the lid off his coffee and stirring it absentmindedly. "All you're going to do is make things more miserable for yourself..."

"Someone just saw Xion with Riku," Kairi said, snatching Namine's phone and shoving the text in Sora's face. Roxas glanced over. It looked like a picture message from one of Kairi's spies. It was a blurry, badly taken photo, but Riku's wild hair was unmistakable, and Roxas would recognize Xion anywhere. She was one of his classmates, someone whose company he actually enjoyed. Hanging out with her outside of school would only get him hell from Sora, though. "Not cool. What the hell is he doing with a little twat like her?"

"Maybe they just ran into each other?" Sora suggested, looking rather surprised at the entire incident himself. "Is it really that big of a deal?"

"Yeah," Kairi said, handing the phone to Namine sourly and leaning back in a practiced pretty-girl pout. "It is, actually. Girls like her need to know their place. They can't just assume they can do whatever they want... There's a hierachy, you know. That's how high school works."

Roxas snorted into his drink, but refrained from entering the conversation. Such matters weren't his obligation to deal with. Sora kind of had to, because he was always trying to impress his dream-girlfriend, but Roxas didn't want any part of the cat fights Kairi was famous for. To be honest, he'd known about Xion and Riku's relationship for about a month to be honest. She'd let it slip one day, and after Roxas had assured her he wasn't one to blab to his cousin about such silly things, she'd gotten into a habit of keeping him up to date with how their romance was kindling. It was one of those tragically cliche High School Musical or Grease numbers. When the pretty, misunderstood, nerdy girl falls in love for the most popular of the jocks and they have to keep their entire relationship a secret from the Queen B? Yeah, one of those. The only thing Roxas got from it was the satisfation of seeing Xion happy. She was a quirky girl, and she deserved to find happiness like that. In fact, if Roxas wasn't gay...well, he'd like to think Xion was the kind of girl he might have gone for in another life.

"Look, whatever. You just don't understand," Kairi ended the discussion with a wave of her hand as she finished off the last of her little bite of cake. "I'll handle it first thing Monday morning. Or maybe it'd be best to wait until we come back from break? If I'm going to deal with her, I don't want to give her that much time to recooperate, you know."

"You really are ruthless, aren't you?" Roxas noted, meeting her gaze fearlessly. "I'm sure Xion is trembling in her boots."

"Her hideous, knock-off boots," Kairi retorted, lifting her chin to show, unconvincingly, that she didn't care what Roxas had to say. She did. She cared what everyone said, and it bothered her to all hell that she couldn't affect Roxas no matter how hard she tried. If Roxas had to guess, he was probably one of the biggest reasons she wouldn't date Sora-and the fact that his cousin had made himself way to readily available to be of any interest to Ms. High Maintenance.

"Whatever you say," Roxas said, and let the conversation be swept away as his phone buzzed in his pocket. Twisting his lips to the side, he checked to make sure the others were distracted before slipping the phone out just enough for him to see the screen.

_Would you just come over so I can ravage you already?_

Roxas pursed his lips and shut his eyes, trying to contain his trembling and his furious blush. Why did that bastard have to be so...blunt all the time? Who _said _things like that? The worst part was that he could actually imagine Axel's deep, smooth voice whispering those things in his ear... Roxas typed in a quick response and shoved his phone back into his pocket. No...that wasn't the worst part... The worst part...was that...he could never resist...

Replying.

It was that simple. If he didn't want Axel to bother him, he was sure that if he stopped texting the idiot back, Axel would eventually get bored and give up. At the very least, he would try a different approach or something of the like. But regardless of how much inner strength he tried to summon, something urged him to respond to every damn text Axel sent. It was just...curiosity. Probably. The next text came quickly.

_You tease._

Roxas glared at the phone. When had he ever acted like he was interested in Axel? Blinking, he thought of their few encounters. Well...if you counted trembling and getting hard as being interested...well, he could see how there might be just a little confusion. But only a little! He _had _said no after all! Over and over again.

And he meant it.

* * *

"Do you think Grandma needs any more kitchen stuff?" Sora asked as they wandered through the department store. Roxas shrugged, tsking.

"How is it you can never find a Christmas present for anyone without my help?" he inquired, letting his eyes roam the shelves. Sora whined, pushing aside his unruly hair. "Really, get a haircut."

"I don't need a haircut thank you very much!" Sora snapped, shaking out all the hair he'd just slicked back. "Come on. Help me find a present for her."

"So needy," Roxas sighed, rolling his eyes and smirking when Sora stuck out his lower lip.

"Geez, you've been mean today," he muttered quietly, turning away in that child-like manner Sora had clung to since they were both little. As if seeming to remember, he added, "And I never need help with finding your presents do I?"

"No," Roxas admitted, looking back at all the kitchenware. "I suppose you don't. If you really want to get her a nice present, though, she said something the other day about needing a new teapot. She knocked it against the table the other day and it cracked. Accident waiting to happen."

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Sora exclaimed, grinning widely and hurrying down the aisle in search of teasets. "And you can help pick one out! Since you know...you're girly enough, right?"

"And you asked me why I'm being mean today," Roxas marveled, but Sora didn't hear. Like a little kid, he was running to and fro. That was one good thing about Christmas, at least... Sora was always happy this time of year.

Not long later, Sora and Roxas were making their way home, brand new China set in hand. It wasn't a close walk back to their house, but it wasn't too far that the set would become too heavy for Sora. If either of them got tired, they could always call a cab. The more Sora eyed Roxas suspiciously, though, the more he wished he could just go lock himself in his room or something.

"What is it now?" Roxas sighed, obviously catching his cousin off guard. The brunette spluttered unsurely for a moment, mind wheeling, but then he seemed to gather himself, albeit shakily.

"How come you didn't buy anything while we were there?" he asked curiously, and Roxas knew it was a genuine question. Though his hands were full of trinkets for all of Sora's friends, nothing in the bags were his. "You know...you and Kairi might not get along or anything, but she's still going to get you something. It's just a formality, so it doesn't have to be really nice or any of that... Just something?"

"I already did most of my shopping," Roxas told him, earning him a wildly surprised look. He gave his older cousin a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I won't ruin everything for you."

"Rox, that's not...what I meant..." Sora replied slowly, and the second that sad look came creeping over his eyes, Roxas scoffed and turned away.

"I don't care how you meant it, Sora," he snapped coldly, and quickened his pace. "Hurry it up. There are things I want to take care of today, and it looks like it's about to rain."

"Right..." Sora murmured, and followed after him without a single word.

They snuck all the new presents inside, making sure their grandmother was quite busy with whatever she was doing in the kitchen before rushing to their room. There, they stashed it all away in their annual hiding spot. Typically, they shared with each other everything on the days approaching Christmas. Everything except the hiding places where they stored the gifts they got for each other.

It was once they'd finished securing everything away that Roxas bid Sora goodbye and told his grandma he'd be back soon-early enough for dinner, he promised. Then he put on a hoodie, grabbed an umbrella, and headed out. As he headed for the sidewalk, he could feel Sora's eyes watching him go from the bedroom window.

_Just stop worrying about me_. Roxas grit his teeth and refused to look behind him. _I'm fine... I'm always fine, aren't I? Just leave me be for once._

The walk was always long enough that his legs were exhausted once he got there. He passed under that iron archway and crossed into an impossible, peaceful world, of nothing but green grass, abundant flowers, and sorrowfully aged tombstones.

He knew the way well by now. He'd walked through this cemetery every Christmas Eve since he was nine years old. Down the main path, until he reached the central oak tree, turn right. Keep going and then take a left at the marker indicating the southeast quarter. Fourth row on the right, near the middle. He got there without even remembering anything about the trip. Like always. It hit him like a brick. One minute he was at home, and the next, he was in front of her grave.

Roxas sank to his knees in front of her tombstone, staring at it with a familiar numbness. He never knew how to feel when he sat here... On one hand, he felt as though he needed to feel an overwhelming sense of sorrow. But he didn't feel that all. Instead, it was a twinge. A pinch of sadness, stirring inside him with other things he wasn't sure were supposed to be there. Regret. Longing. Emptiness. But most of all, there was nothing. Sometimes, the empitness and the nothingness felt a lot alike, but he could tell, they were different. The nothingness...that was better. It kept him safe from actually feeling anything that might hurt him. It was his blanket. His shield.

He reached out and brushed his fingers across the name etched into the stone. The name also etched into the forefront parts of his brain. Usually, he could get by a few days without thinking about her. But sometimes...especially around this time of year... His fingers drooped to the date below her name. _December 24, 2006. _Seven years. It didn't sound like such a long time. And yet... these days...it was hard just picturing her face.

The first drop of rain smacked his face, such a cold surprise, it shocked the beginnings of his tears back into hiding. Blinking rapidly, Roxas turned his head upward, eyelids fluttering as droplets of pure, clean water began falling inside them. Falling all around him. His fingers twitched around the handle of his umbrella, but his body didn't have the strength to actually use it. Instead, he sat in the rain, and let it pour over him, and wished it could take him, and finally let him be at peace.

He didn't know how long he sat like that. It didn't matter how long. All of it was wasted time anyway. What was he doing, paying his respects like this? As if she was watching from some magical place in the sky? As if...she might somehow know? Still...he couldn't just talk himself out of coming. He had to come. It was...tradition. Like Sora said. It was one of those things where he thought to himself...

_How could I not come?_

Eventually, he pulled himself to his feet. Gingerly, he reached out to run his hand over the top of the stone one more time before turning away and walking back the way he'd come. As he did, he clicked open the umbrella and swung it up to his shoulder half-heartedly. The trudge home would be longer than usual this go around.

He was still a whiles away when the rain really started to pick up. The wind alone was enough to burn his face, and even pulling his scarf up across his nose didn't help very much. The only thing the umbrella was doing was getting caught in the wind and getting yanked around; it certainly wasn't protecting him from the nasty sheets of rain cutting at him from a nearly horizontal direction. After a while, he finally just snapped it shut, tucked it under his arm, and began to to jog. Hardly able to see a thing, though, he kept having to stop and check his surroundings. The wind howled, the rain cutting into his skin like knives.

"Yo!"

Roxas paused where he was, lifting an arm to try and block the rain from obscuring his vision too much. There, in the street, was a car. It was a little four-door, silver sedan. He didn't recognize it with all the craziness around him, but he _did_ recognize that flashing red hair. He grit his teeth and waved the car away.

"You'd better get in this damn car before I drag your ass over here, you little punk!" he shouted, but Roxas snorted and began to storm away, wind and rain be damned. Like he was going to let that bastard interrupt _today_ of _all days._ Before he could get more than a few feet, though, something firm was grabbing his arm and pulling him around so fast, he knocked right into Axel's chest. He hadn't even heard the car door open or close! He had no time to think or say anything or respond. He was being pulled, just like that, over to the passenger's side door and thrown in without a word. Next thing he knew, he was in the car. Alone. With.

Axel.

"What are you, some kind of idiot, to be walking around in this kind of shitty weather!" Axel growled, locking the doors from his side just as Roxas went to reach for the handle. He glared across the car at him, but Axel had beat him to it. The blonde cringed in his seat. Those bright green eyes, so cunning and deceitful, were now full of flames, all directed at him. "Don't even think about it, moron. Like hell I'd let you walk around out there."

"It's none of your business anyway," Roxas muttered, crossing his arms and looking away. It was much quieter in here. Outside, the wind still whistled, but it was faint compared to the roaring it had been in his ears just moments ago, and the rain was merely a pattering now. In fact, it might have been peaceful had he not been locked in here against his will...

"Shut up, brat," Axel snapped, putting his car in drive and pressing on the accelerator. "Put your seat belt on."

"This is kidnapping," Roxas informed him as he did as was told. "Especially since I'm a minor."

"Tsk, minor," Axel repeated sourly, enough so that Roxas had to glance at him curously. He raised an eyebrow, taking in his expression. It was the unhappiest he'd ever seen the guy. Until now, he'd only ever seen Axel as carefree, cocky, and relaxed. Now he was...passionately irritated.

"Does me being a minor bother you...?" Roxas ventured carefully. The question warranted him a rather surprised look from Axel, but he brushed it off quickly.

"Why the hell would that bother me?" he scoffed, quirking an eyebrow. There it was. That cocky look. Roxas sank back, preparing for it. Axel shot him a sideways glance. "Age of consent in this state is sixteen, loser."

"And what the hell does _that_ have to do with anything?" Roxas exploded, only making Axel shake his head with a grin. "Let me out of this car right now, you creepy pervert!"

"I already told you," Axel sobered. "You're not going anywhere in that weather."

"Then take me home!" Roxas demanded, jabbing at the window. "You're going the wrong way!"

"Heh..." Axel smirked at him triumphantly. "You really want me knowing where you live?"

Roxas froze. No. No he did not want that. He was about to think of another retort when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Turning his attention away from Axel, Roxas dug it out and answered the call.

_"Rox? Are you okay?" _Sora's frantic voice carried over in a series of static-filled crackles. Roxas winced, plugging his free ear so he might be able to hear. The storm was really bad if it was messing with his signal this much...

"Yeah, Sora, I'm fine," Roxas assured him.

"_Where are you now_?" he asked, "_I can come get you!" _

"What are you talking about?" Roxas scolded, "You don't have you license yet and you definitely don't need to be driving in this weather without one, you know. Besides, like I said, I'm perfectly fine."

"_Are you sure?" _Sora said, unconvinced. "_Where are you_?"

Shit. What was he supposed to say? He glanced at Axel. No way was he telling his cousin who he was with. That would be suicide for the both of them!

"Uh...a classmate saw me while I was on my way home," he said, turning to face the window and stare out at the wildness still churning outside. "He picked me up and said he'd give me a ride home once the weather cleared up... His place is closer, you know?"

"_Which classmate_?" Sora snapped. Roxas deadpanned.

"What the hell does it matter?" he retorted angrily. "You don't know them anyway. Would you stop worrying about me like you're my mom or something?"

That shut him up. The silence that followed was absolutely deafening, overpowering even the chaos going on outside. Roxas sighed and rubbed his forehead tiredly. Not a conversation he wanted to have in front of prying ears...

"Look..." he began, but decided to not even go down that route. The last thing he wanted was Axel asking him what half his conversation with his cousin had been about. "I'm just saying you don't need to worry, alright? Tell grandma I'm fine and that I'll be back home as soon as it clears back up a little, okay?"

With a little more coaxing, Roxas was finally able to hang up on a semi-calm Sora. Breathing out heavily as he stuck his phone back away, it was then that he realized his current state. He was soaked head to toe, everything from his knees down was covered in mud and other filth, and his umbrella was no better. Blinking, he glanced over at Axel, took another look around the car, and cringed. It wasn't a super nice car or anything, but it was obviously very well taken care of. Everything seemed nice and orderly and there wasn't any trash or excess dirt lingering about.

"I'm sorry..." he said softly. Axel looked at him questioningly, making Roxas blush and turn away. Even worse than Axel's pervy stares were his non-pervy ones. _How was that even possible_? "About getting your car dirty, I mean... If you want me to have it cleaned, it wouldn't be a problem or anything..."

"I don't want your money," Axel tsked, giving him a look that said he thought the entire idea distasteful. But he quickly switched the tone to a more playful one. "You could pay me in other ways, of course."

"You have serious problems," Roxas shot back, crossing his arms with a huff. "What is it with you anyway?"

"I told you, cutie," Axel laughed, the rich, velvet sound filling the car's small interior. "I want you. Simple as that."

"Things don't work like that," Roxas muttered.

"They would have if your cousin hadn't interrupted us that night at the party," Axel replied, and while Roxas heard the challenge in it, he could hardly say anything in return. He was too busy spluttering and trying to keep his face from turning bright red. And trying to convince himself that Axel was absolutely 100% incorrect.

"I live right up here," Axel said, gesturing with a nod as he turned down an unfamiliar road. Now that Roxas thought about it, he'd kind of lost track of where they were. He'd never been to this part of town before. Up in front of them were apartment complexes. Nothing fancy, again, but not run-down or anything like that either. "You can get dried off and wait for Mother Nature to cut out her damn bitch fit. Sound good, shorty?"

"Uh...yeah...thanks."

* * *

Axel's home was entirely not what Roxas had been expecting. He didn't really know exactly what he'd been expecting to begin with, really, but somehow... Well...

A clean, normal, one-bedroom apartment seemed kinda...strange.

"Let's go ahead and get you out of those clothes, hm, cutie?"

Now _there_ was the weirdness he'd been waiting for.

"Hold up!" Roxas yelled, holding his hands up to block Axel's approach. The redhead raised an eyebrow at him. "I think I can handle my own clothes, thanks. Really, you've done enough!"

"You gonna strip for me, baby?" he teased, sending violent shivers up and down Roxas' spine. Axel laughed out loud at the blonde's expression before gesturing for him to follow him. "Come on, cutie. Bathroom's this way."

Now silent and crimson, Roxas followed Axel into his apartment without another word. He left his shoes and umbrella at the door and stepped carefully wherever there was carpet. Of all things, the idea of inconveniencing Axel at this point...well, it bothered him. It _shouldn't_, considering all the crap he'd put Roxas through the past couple months!

Still...the bastard was being pretty nice.

"Here you go," Axel said, stopping at an open door, flicking on the light inside, and moving aside so Roxas could enter. Again, he was surprised to find a plain, regular old bathroom. One that smelled nice and was picked up after. "You should go ahead and rinse off, too, so you don't catch a cold. You're welcome to use anything in there that you need. Towels are in that closet there. I'll go grab some clothes for you so I can wash yours. They'll probably be a little big, but it's not like you're goin' out or anything."

"Oh...thanks," Roxas said, nodding his head toward Axel gratefully. The redhead smiled ever so softly-a gesture that truly made Roxas' heart stop-before winking.

"Better be in the shower when I get back," he warned playfully. "Or I'll undress and bathe you myself."

"Bastard!" Roxas shouted after him, but the door was already closed. Face red-it always seemed to be red these days-Roxas shrank back and thought again of all the new expressions he'd seen Axel wear today. He'd thought he could only be obnoxiously cocky and perverse. As Roxas turned on the water and peeled off every layer of his heavy clothing, he realized he might just prefer it if Axel only ever made those arrogant remarks toward him again.

They made him much easier to resist.

* * *

Somehow he ended up sitting on the floor of Axel's bedroom in an oversized t-shirt and some basketball shorts Axel had found. They were in fact huge on him, but they were clean and comfortable. His own clothes were out in the washer in the hall. They'd had too much mud on them to just stick in the dryer. Roxas stared at the floor, cheeks pink, eyes glistening, as he allowed Axel to dry his hair with a fluffy towel. He didn't want to admit it, but it actually felt kind of nice...those big, strong hands moving over his scalp like that...

"Why are you being so nice?" he blurted, eyes widening when he realized what he'd said out loud. Axel paused his movements, stopping mid-sentence. Roxas hadn't even really realized he'd been talking.

"Hm?" Axel didn't move the towel or his hands, so Roxas still couldn't see him from this angle. Thank goodness.

"Normally, you'd be pinning me to the floor and trying to get me to have sex with you," Roxas said quietly. "You haven't done that once since I've been here."

"Did you want me to?" Axel laughed, but there was something different about it this time. When Roxas gave no response, Axel sighed and leaned back onto his hands, leaving the towl draped over Roxas' head. "I figured you'd been having a rough day. You aren't really acting like yourself, so I figured I'd lay off for the day..."

Roxas didn't reply. Didn't move. Just sat there and stared at the ground. Axel suddenly tsked and jumped forward toward him.

"Hey, don't cry," he said, too softly, and lifted his hands to wipe away Roxas' tears, too softly, and cast him a smile, too softly. It was a sad, beautiful smile Roxas raised his eyes just in time to catch. A smile that should have never existed on that wicked face. "Come on. You can't possibly expect me not to kiss you when you're looking like that."

Roxas stared at Axel. Stared at his warm, lovely green eyes, and the tousled red hair he'd never seen down before. He saw that miracle of a smile made just for him and felt those big hands on his face, making him warm all over.

"That's fine," he murmured breathlessly, catching Axel so off guard, the older boy nearly seemed to withdraw his hands a smidge. Axel gazed down at him, wide-eyed, blinking. "A kiss...is fine."

"Roxas..."

He leaned foward, and Roxas let his eyes flutter closed. Axel's breath touched his skin, and Roxas trembled in anticipation of what he knew was inevitably coming. Those warm, big hands shifted over his face, running down to cup his chin between two long fingers, and raising up to push his still-damp hair off the surface of his forehead. Roxas took a deep breath, waiting...

"Hell, Roxas, you're burning up," Axel growled. Roxas blinked his eyes open to see the redhaired boy scowling, but not at him. More like he was in concentration. He suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Roxas' forehead, not kissing him, really. Just feeling him. The gesture was...it was familiar... It was something Roxas remembered his mom doing when he was little. Axel pulled away and suddenly scooped Roxas into his arms like he was no more than a bundle of feathers. "Going out in the rain like that and getting a fever... Geez, Rox..."

Roxas blinked. _He called me Rox..._

"Stay here, okay?" he said gently, laying him down on Axel's bed and pressing a hand to his chest to make sure he didn't get up. Roxas didn't try though. He didn't feel like doing anything. His entire body felt like warm jello. "I'm going to go get some stuff for you, alright? Try to bring that fever down. You just go to sleep, alright?"

"Kay..." he murmured, and was already slipping away by the time Axel had drawn the covers around him and kissed him sweetly on the corner of his mouth.

* * *

**Just so everyone knows, Kairi is one of my favorite characters in Kingdom Hearts. I just needed a bitch...and Kairi's super hot. So she got stuck with the role, haha. Sorry if that bothers anyone, because trust me, I know it's major OOC. But...everything in this story is probably OOC. That's the beauty of fanfiction, right?! Anywho, I've always loved the idea of Kairi being this powerful character (whether good or bad), with Namine as her silent but equally-as-powerful like...right-hand man. If you catch my drift. Just thought I'd clear that up. **

**Hope you're enjoying so far. ^-^ Yes, things _are _picking up faster and faster, aren't they? Hehehe...**

**Apologies if there is an abundance of errors. I'm super tired, but can't sleep to save my life (as a brief explanation, my boyfriend broke up with me a little over a week ago, and it did a lot of damage, so... it's really affected my ability to sleep and eat...so sorry if it's showing through in my writing). I wanted to go ahead and post this chapter, since this is one of the more interesting ones out of the three up so far. :) **

**AnimeCountDown**


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey," Roxas greeted, plopping into his seat at the back of the classroom. Xion was sprawled over her desk, chin tucked into her left arm, free hand doodling aimlessly on her notebook. "So how was your break?"

"Ask your fucking friends," she muttered under her breath, turning her body so he couldn't see her face. Roxas looked at her in surprise, then deflated with a knowing sigh.

"What did they do?" he asked, leaning against his palm. Xion didn't answer him. She just kept drawing. She always used a silver sharpee on a black notebook cover. "You know, it's best to just ignore them and pretend like you don't care."

"Easy for you to say," Xion shot back, still refusing to look at him. "They're not allowed to do anything to you because you've got your cousin protecting you."

"Like that makes it any better?" Roxas snapped lightly, glaring a little bitterly at the back of her head. "If anything, it makes it worse because I have to be around them all the damn time, or Sora throws a fit. They make fun of me tons, trust me. Sure, they hold back a little, but it still gets really annoying."

"They ruined everything..." Xion hissed, hands clenching until her entire body trembled. "They just..."

"What?" Roxas urged, placing a hand on her back gently. "I'm sure you can fix it."

"They followed me on my date with Riku!" she snapped, turning on him. Now he could see the redness around her eyes. The lack of sleep, the hurt, the depression. Even now, keeping her voice down so no one else could hear, she was on the brink of tears. "They _followed _us. And sabotaged _everything_."

"Xion..."

"No!" she said, slapping his hand away and turning her face down to glare at their desk furiously. "I'm tired of dealing with those stupid bitches. I don't need them, and I don't need Riku. I can't even... I can't even bring myself to call him or see him... Not that he's tried to get in touch with me either..."

"He didn't call you after...it happened?" Roxas inquired, and while the details were vague, he had an idea of what Kairi was capable of. He'd witnessed many of her merciless strikes with a front row seat after all, thanks to being Sora's cousin. It was true he was free from the really bad stuff, because he was technically a part of that group, but he'd seen it happen.

"No..." Xion breathed, and that's when Roxas knew. It wasn't the embarrassment that was killing Xion. It was the fact that it had _worked_. If it had scared Riku away, he hadn't been worth it anyway, and she deserved someone better. A girl as smart as Xion knew that, knew she shouldn't give him a second chance, and that's why it hurt so much. It had taken a lot for her to let him in. "He didn't."

"You already know what I'm going to say, don't you?" Roxas said gently, and Xion sniffled as she nodded solemnly. With a frustrated sigh, she wiped her eyes quickly.

"It doesn't matter," she muttered, sinking in her seat.

"Of course it matters," Roxas said, tilting his head and fighting for the right words. It was hard because he'd only ever seen relationships. Watched them, read about them, heard of them. But... "Anything that makes you hurt matters. Maybe _he _doesn't, but what he did to you does. It's probably going to hurt for a while. And there's nothing you can do to change that. You already know all that cliche stuff, about him not being good enough for you. But you can't let yourself believe that none of it mattered. Everyone has to go through something like that at some point, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so..." Xion answered, glancing up at him through her lashes hesitantly. No longer angry. She just looked tired and lonely. "Has something like that happened to you? I thought you didn't date?"

"Huh? Me? Oh, no, not at all," Roxas said, shaking his head quickly and smiling awkwardly. Xion blinked and turned to him a little more fully. "You're right; I don't date, so I guess I'm just being a hyprocrite or something, talking about stuff I don't even know about..."

"You're blushing," she said simply, pointing to his face. When Roxas squeaked a little and moved to cover his cheeks with his hands, a slow little smile spread over Xion's face.

"No, no!" he said, looking away and hastily burrowing into his bag to find the supplies he'd need for today's class. "It was just really cold outside."

"Rox, it's third period," she laughed, tilting her head to get a good look at his face. "You haven't been outside for hours."

"Well, maybe it's just too hot in _here_," he mumbled stubbornly, breathing a sigh of relief when the teacher walked into the room and shut the door. "Look, class is starting. Pay attention."

"You still texting that Axel guy?" she inquired in a whisper. Roxas shot her a warning look.

"_No_," he lied.

"Which means yes," Xion laughed. Roxas shrank, but he was glad, at least, it had gotten her to smile. A girl like her didn't deserve to be so caught up over something as trivial as a boy.

Roxas bit his lower lip and looked down at his notes from yesterday, but they were all a blur now, indecipherable. He couldn't understand anything, not the teacher, not the words on the board, not Xion giggling in her seat. Nobody deserved to get hurt by anyone...not like that. Not for something as frivolous as love. But...did that mean...it wasn't worth trying...?

* * *

"You know, Sora's going to come pick me up one day and get really mad when he sees you sitting here with me," Roxas pointed out, nibbling on today's snack. He had to admit...bringing him sweet pastries _had_ earned Axel some brownie points... It's not like it was Roxas' fault for caving! It was a strawberry rhubarb cake! Who the hell said no to that? Axel grinned, leaning on his chin and watching him with that amused look he always wore so perfectly.

"Then you should stop coming to the library, cutie," he suggested, and Roxas didn't miss the way he watched him take his next bite. Blushing warmly, Roxas punched in another sentence of his paper, consulting his textbook briefly before adding some more. "I'm glad you do, though. You're cute when you concentrate like that."

"I thought I was _always_ cute," Roxas muttered, which made Axel laugh out loud. That happened sometimes. Roxas would say something, and it was like he was telling a joke he didn't even get himself, but Axel was all the time laughing at the things he said.

"Of course you are," he murmured, and without warning, pecked him deftly on the corner of the mouth. Roxas bristled, pulling away from Axel and rubbing the spot until it burned from the friction.

"Don't you have _work_ to do?" he pointed out, making Axel pout and glance over his shoulder. They couldn't see the librarian, his supervisor, from here, but Roxas could guess what Axel was thinking. "I'm surprised you don't ever get in trouble for slacking off like this."

"Hey, I brought you cake, didn't I?" Axel said, pointing at the half-eaten pastry indignantly. "I worked really hard on that thing!"

"It's from Panera, you asshole," Roxas snapped, narrowing his eyes at him. "Don't try to pass it off as something you made yourself!"

"Yeah, but that little thing cost, like three whole fucking dollars," Axel retorted, pursing his lips in that poutish way of his. The more Roxas saw Axel, the more sides he saw of him, and even the cool, badass player had a childish side to him sometimes. "That's hard-earned cash."

"Then don't buy them," Roxas said plainly, shrugging. Axel smirked and leaned in a little closer.

"But you look so damn happy when you're eating them," he sighed, reaching over to pull on Roxas' lower lip with a single finger. "And it just makes me wonder how much happier you'll look when I'm deep inside you."

Axel grabbed the nearest textbook and slammed it over Axel's head.

"Don't say things like that, you bastard!"

* * *

"You go to the community college, right?" Roxas asked as they walked home. Axel often insisted on making sure Roxas got home safely-even though Roxas told him he'd walked to and from the library by himself since he was a little kid. They made sure to stay away a couple blocks from home, just in case Sora was there. Roxas was always careful to keep tabs on his cousin, texting him just to see where he was whenever he was with the Axel. No need for any awkward run-ins.

"Yeah," Axel answered, looking down at Roxas curiously. It was annoying sometimes how tall he was. It wasn't like he was...well...huge. But...there was a good half a foot, at least, in difference, and that was probably being really generous. If he stood close enough, he literally had to bend his neck backward just to see Axel's face. "What about it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Roxas said, shrugging and glancing down at his shoes. They were walking in unison again. Right, left, right, left...precisely at the same time. "You've just never talked about it. _You _know all about _my _classes and stuff, but I've never heard you talk about yours."

"Well, that's because it doesn't really matter to me," Axel chuckled, putting his hands behind his head and stretching. He was looking up at the sky with a simple, content smile. "School's really important to you, but it's kind of just something I'm doing because I have to."

"How come?" Roxas asked, getting Axel's attention again. "I mean, college is an option. Is there something you want to do in the future with a degree? What's your major?"

"Woah, slow your roll, kid," Axel laughed, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Roxas winced, but he was used to it by now. The bastard liked doing things like that. "Where's all this coming from?"

"I don't know..." Roxas mumbled, refusing to make eye contact. It was hard for him to do that a lot, more than anything. "I guess...it's just weird that you know so much stuff about me... I don't know anything about you, really..."

"I don't know my major yet," Axel abruptly answered. Roxas looked up at him to see the guy was staring at the sky again. "I want a degree because I know it's a good idea that'll be important for me down the road. I'm just getting my gen. ed. out of the way first, though, until I decide what I actually want to focus on. I'll probably go with something like business or accounting. I've always been pretty good with numbers, and it pays well."

"Oh..." Roxas breathed, nodding as he took in what Axel had said. He grimaced when Axel teased his hair again with a loud chuckle.

"If you have a question, just ask," he said, and that brilliantly charming smile tore into Roxas' resolve like it was made of paper. "Trust me, cutie. You can't scare me off."

"Why do you live alone?"

Roxas regretted the question as soon as it came out of his mouth. It stopped Axel in his tracks, wiping that smile clean off his face and replacing with a look of uncertainty and surprise. Biting his lip and looking away, Roxas thought about telling Axel to forget about it...but... He had _said_ he could ask him a question if he wanted. And this was what he was dying to know.

"I'll tell you why I live alone," Axel said softly. Roxas looked up. His face was drawn, the saddest he'd ever seen it...the saddest he'd ever seen anyone's, perhaps. It was an expression of pure hollowness. Roxas couldn't contain his gasp. And then Axel added, "Only if you tell me what you were doing in that storm on Christmas Eve."

Roxas' eyes widened. _That day..._ That day, still, was like a fuzzy memory to him. He remembered walking home, and he remembered the rain picking up like crazy. He remembered Axel, and the car, his apartment, and... He remembered how Axel had tucked him in, brought him cool washcloths and soup and let him stay until the next morning, when the storm finally stopped raging outside. But all of it seemed so faint, like a dream he'd tried so hard to forget. He'd been so embarrassed the next day, when he was lucid and actually able to think. Not only had he let Axel wait on him hand and foot, but he'd said...he'd said something so horrible...

_A kiss...is fine._

He couldn't even think about that day without getting all red about it, let alone talk to Axel about what he'd been doing in the rain in the first place. How could he talk about that...? That memory was precious to him... He didn't want to just give it away... He couldn't even talk to Sora about it, so how was he supposed to just... Roxas turned away and kept walking.

"That's okay," he said softly.

Axel didn't bring it up again the entire way back.

* * *

"Give me _one_ good reason why I should leave you here to mope around the house for spring break?" Sora yelled, hands on his hips in his typical "mommy mode" stance. Roxas sighed, not bothering to look up from the laundry he was folding.

"Because I don't want to," Roxas answered simply, receiving a shout of indignation from his cousin for it. Before he could argue, though, Roxas added, "Because I don't like the beach. Because your friends are mean to mine and I don't like them. Because I have other things I'd like to do. Because it's my spring break and I'll do what I want during it."

"What the hell, man?" Sora shot back angrily. Roxas snapped a shirt free of wrinkles and folded it quietly. "What's up with you lately? I feel like you're never even around anymore. Are you... You aren't getting into drugs, are you?"

"You did not just ask me that," Roxas sighed, throwing the shirt in his hands back into the basket and turning to face cousin. He'd been expecting this argument to come at some point, so he wasn't surprised.

"Well, can you blame me?" Sora asked, throwing his hands in the air. "I feel like I don't even know you anymore! You're gone all the time and when I do see you, you don't act like yourself!"

"How's that?" Roxas inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"You're more of a dick nowadays, for one," Sora muttered, crossing his arms bitterly. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Are you talking about me deciding to say what I feel instead of just nodding and going along with whatever you decide?" he asked, and he had to admit... If it made Sora's jaw drop like that, maybe it was a little harsh. Roxas sighed and waved his hand dismissively. "Look, I'm just trying to focus on school and stuff right now, and I don't like being dragged around everywhere you want to go because I'm your cousin. I mean, think about it, which one of your friends actually likes me?"

"They all do..." Sora insisted, but the doubt in his eyes still stung. "They just think you're really quiet sometimes and wish you'd open up more."

"About what?" Roxas pushed, tsking in annoyance. "That _is_ me, Sora. I'm an introvert. I don't _like_ 'opening up' to people about stupid, trivial things like gossip. Okay?"

"Well...why didn't you ever say anything before?" Sora asked, sounding so defeated, Roxas wished he'd never even said a word. He sighed.

"I guess because I didn't want something like this to happen," he admitted, leaning back against his bed. "I didn't really mind it so much, really, but I guess lately, I... I want to try to find myself, you know? The entire time I've been here, everyone's just known me 'Sora's little cousin'. The gay one, the quiet one... And maybe I want people to know me as Roxas."

"Rox..." Sora tilted his head, looking like he wanted nothing more than to come hug him like he used to. But he was too manly for stuff like that now. "I'm sorry... I didn't know you felt that way."

"Of course you didn't," Roxas laughed, shaking his head. "It's okay, man. I didn't want you know for a reason. But now it's time to let me go, okay? You've coddled me enough for one lifetime. Besides, you don't need to spend your entire life looking out for your little cousin. That's not your job, Sora."

"Well, I know, but...someone should do it," he muttered, looking down in that ashamed way of his. Roxas smiled sadly.

"Nobody's coddling _you_," he pointed out, and Sora looked up at him in a bit of surprise. He seemed to think about it for a moment before frowning.

"I've...never felt like I needed it," he said. "I mean, I never even knew my parents, Rox. That's a lot different than-"

"Stop it," he told him, holding up a hand. Sora immediately shut his mouth, at least looking abashed. He knew better. "It's fine. Are we on the same page now?"

"I think so," Sora said slowly, tilting his head. "You really don't want to go to Miami with us?"

"I really, truly do not want to go to Miami with you and your friends," Roxas breathed out in relief. "I'm sorry, and I'll miss you, and I hope you have a good time, but I just don't want to go with you."

"You are the weirdest kid ever," Sora marvelled, shaking his head. Roxas laughed.

"That's what Axel always says," he chuckled, shrugging despite himself. Maybe he was weird, but at least he'd finally told Sora-

_Oh, shit._

Sora blinked at him. Roxas froze.

"What?"

"Uh...Xion. She's always calling me weird in class and stuff," Roxas said, forcing himself to laugh and turning away before Sora could see his face turn red again. And really, he didn't feel like witnessing the murderous rage Sora was probably about to explode in. Hearing it would be plenty fine.

"Roxas..." Sora hissed through his teeth. "You just said...that _Axel _calls you weird. Present tense."

"Nope," Roxas chirped, grabbing another shirt and trying to fold it despite his shaking hands. "I definitely said Xion. That tricky 'x' must be what you're getting them mixed up on."

"The 'x' in Xion sounds nothing like the 'x' in Axel," Sora snarled, grabbing his shoulder and twisting him around so quick Roxas winced in pain. "Roxas, what the hell? You've been seeing that piece of shit?"

"Don't call him that," Roxas retorted, shoving Sora's hand away indignantly, but he couldn't meet Sora's gaze. "But no... I haven't..."

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" Sora yelled, shoving him backward. Roxas yelped, tumbling on to the bed behind him, in the piles of clean, folded laundry he'd already set out. "I _told_ you to stay away from that guy, Rox! He's just using you!"

"Sora..." Roxas began, pushing himself onto his elbows, but Sora cut him off.

"How dumb do you have to be?" he shouted, arms flailing wildly in one crazy gesture after another. "So this is what you've been doing this entire time! You're not doing drugs, but something a million times worse! I can't believe you! You told me you were going to stay away from him! And you go and look for him anyway after that party? How long had this been going on? How could you lie to me like that?"

"I never lied to you, Sora!" Roxas snapped back as he pulled himself to his feet. "None of it happened like that! You're completely overreacting."

"Overreacting?" Sora laughed, before screaming, "My baby cousin just told me he's been sleeping with a slut!"

It was a clear distinct pop that silenced the room. Roxas took a deep breath, watching Sora's face twist in confusion as the smooth expanse of his left cheek slowly began to turn a bright, vivid pink. After a few moments passed, and the quiet seemed to triumph, Roxas lowered his hand and let it swing back to his side. Sora raised his head, the blue in his eyes glimmering in betrayal and disbelief, but Roxas couldn't let his sympathy for Sora get in the way. His cousin was going too far this time.

"Let me make something perfectly clear," he said, and something in his tone made Sora's eyes widen a little more. "You are not my mother. You are not my father. You are my _cousin_, Sora. And you do not dictate my life. You are not in charge of who I see or what I do. Those are my decisions, not yours. If I want to spend my time with Axel, I _will_. End of story."

"But..." Sora murmured. He hardly had the strength to speak. Roxas sighed and pushed past his cousin for the door. "Rox..."

"And by the way," Roxas added, doing his best not to bristle at the fact he even had to clear this up. "I'm not sleeping with him. I never have. Thanks for your vote of confidence."

Somehow, as he walked out the door, he kept his chin up.

* * *

"I've never hit Sora before..." Roxas said, hugging his legs closer to his chest. Clinking came from the kitchen, and then footsteps. He buried the lower half of his face into his knees, letting his hair cover up the rest. His voice was muffled as he muttered, "I'm a terrible person."

"I can't say I'm sorry," Axel admitted with what sounded like one of his half-smiles as he set something down on the coffee table in front of them. Intrigued, Roxas peeked out of his dark safe haven with one eye to find a simple white tray laden with a modernized teapot and two mugs. He blinked, then shifted his gaze to Axel without moving his head, but the redhead didn't seem to notice. He was too busy plopping down beside him with a poutish scowl. "That kid is annoying as hell. No offense or anything, but I don't know how you live with him."

"Is that a teapot?" Roxas squeaked. Axel blinked and turned his head to look at him. He glanced down at the tray, and then back to Roxas.

"Yeah...?" he replied slowly, raising an eyebrow. Roxas sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, but nothing could stifle the flood of giggles beginning to seep out of him. Axel frowned, brow knitting slightly. "What?"

"You have a teapot," Roxas snickered into his legs, hiding his face again so Axel couldn't see. He felt horrible for laughing, but...oh, he just couldn't help it! Maybe it was the lack of sleep he'd been getting or the fact that he was so upset, he felt hysterical. That happened sometimes. Axel, however, wasn't as amused.

"What's so damn funny, huh?" he questioned. Roxas felt and heard him lean forward as if to look at him better, but he only turned away further in his little coiled ball, giggling his heart out. "I like tea, and that's the proper way to make a fucking cup of tea."

"I'm sorry," Roxas gasped, lifting his head just enough so he could peer at Axel from beneath his hair. Whatever Axel was planning on doing or saying, he seemed to change his mind, instead opting to stare. Just stare. "It's just that...you're _Axel_. You're all...badass-like and stuff...and you're serving me tea in a _teapot_. I'm sorry, it's just really funny."

He burst into another fit, but it didn't last long. Roxas didn't know how it happened, but one second, he was balled up on the couch, and the next, he was on his back, expertly pinned by Axel. Roxas blinked a few times, his giggles startled away. He was used to this kind of thing by now, but this time felt a little different. When he looked up, he couldn't quite see Axel's eyes beneath his hair, which hung loosely down like a curtain. Axel was quiet and still above him. Normally, he'd be cracking jokes worthy of a kick to the groin. But now... Roxas tilted his head.

"Axel...?"

"Why do you have to do that...?" he said lowly. Roxas made a small, confused noise in the back of his throat. That was odd... Axel wasn't normally one to take offensive to such stupid things. In fact, in all the time they'd spent together the past few months, Roxas didn't think he'd managed to land one good insult. Now he was upset over- "Looking at me like that... With your face all red and your eyes...looking at me with that...that _look_... You're making it too damn hard, Rox. You can't keep doing this to me."

"Uh..." Roxas hesitated, and that pause was all it took for Axel to lift his head and look down at him, green eyes full of hot desire.

"Did you forget or something?" he asked, voice dropping even further. Roxas' eyes widened as Axel dipped his head down suddenly, nose at his throat. The blonde gasped and let out a short whine as Axel brushed his neck affectionately with his nose, his cheeks...his lips... "I _want_ you, Roxas... I want you _badly_. I'm never joking when I say that... Every time I'm with you, it drives me nuts...hell, it's in my head whether I'm around you or not now. You're such a damn _tease_. Giving me those fucking looks...like you're the most innocent thing in the world... All it does is make me want to tear into you. To _have_ you and be the only thing that does."

"Axel..." Roxas moved to push him away, but Axel's hands were already firmly holding down both of his wrists, and there was no retrieving his lower body from beneath Axel's. A long, wet swipe of Axel's tongue made Roxas shudder and mewl involuntarily. "Axel...no..."

"Why do you keep resisting me?" Axel groaned, and his lips suddenly latched on to a dangerously sensitive place. Pressing gently with his teeth, he sucked until Roxas cried out, writhing weakly beneath him. "I_ know _you want me. You can't hide that to save your life. So why... Why do you keep _taunting_ me?"

"Ah..." Roxas could scarcely breath, let alone respond to anything Axel was saying. The words came in and out even so, the thick icing that draped every movement Axel's tongue made against his bare throat. "St... Stop, Axel... Please..."

"Why?" Axel growled, raising his lips to Roxas' ear. As he whispered sweetly, he lowered his hips onto Roxas' and pressed, making the boy gasp in unfamiliar pleasure. "You have to tell me why, baby... I don't want to stop... I need you, Rox. I'm so fucking hard right now... You have to let me in."

"No..."

"_Roxas_," he persisted, nails scraping along the insides of his wrists. Even that turned Roxas into nothing. "You can't lie to me."

"I don't... No, Axel..."

"Please..."

"No!"

"_Why?_"

"_Because I don't want you to leave_!"

Time froze. Oh, no... He hadn't wanted to say that. Axel slowly, very slowly, lifted his head and his weight. Beneath him, Roxas was breathing heavily, eyes shielded by his hair, sweat dotting his face. He still couldn't move with Axel holding him down, but he didn't think he'd have the strength to get up even if Axel gave him his arms back. He didn't fight for them. He just lay there. Lay there and tried to gather his senses, tried to get his lungs to function properly. He was warm, warm all over, and weak to the bones. All his muscles had turned to jelly.

"Roxas, look at me," Axel said quietly, so seriously, Roxas' heart stopped. Oh, god, here it was... The moment when Axel told him how it was...that he was just a phase. A toy. A victim. That he was only hanging around because he never gave up. Because he had to have him just once. "Roxas. Look at me."

Roxas lifted his gaze, and through his tears, saw Axel's blank face.

"My father is in prison for blowing my mom's head off with a shotgun."

It was like he'd swallowed a rock. Roxas blinked, and tears rolled from his eyes. Axel's expression didn't change.

"That's why I live alone," he concluded. Roxas opened his mouth. Nothing came out. "He used to beat her senseless when I was a kid. Me, too, if she didn't hide me well enough. When I was seventeen, I found the courage to fight back. Knocked him around pretty good, too. Somehow, it was me who ended up in jail overnight for it, though. Domestic abuse. That was the night he killed her. When I was behind bars for trying to protect her. When he gets out, I'm going to find him, and I'm going to kill him. That's why I don't care what I do with the rest of my life. Because one day, I'll be in prison, too."

The tears were pouring out so fast, they burned his eyes.

"I've slept around a lot because sex wears me out," Axel continued. His voice never fluctuated, not once. "Thinking about my dad pisses me off so much, it makes me want to go crazy. So I distract myself. With stupid shit like school and work I don't care about, alcohol and sex. It numbs me down. So I don't do something stupid until the day I can wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze the life right out of him. I treat life like a joke, because if I don't, I'd probably kill myself before I ever got a chance to kill him first."

"Ax...el..."

"I've never told anyone that," he went on. "It's impossible for me to think about without going insane, let alone talk about out loud. I've never had anyone I trusted enough to want to talk to about it anyway. Lots of people around town know about it or have heard rumors of it. But I ignore it. Pretend like it never happened, so everyone else will too. Eventually, people forgot. This is the first time I've talked about it out loud, since it happened. You're the first person who's heard me say anything about it since they buried my mom."

"Please stop..." Roxas whispered, closing his eyes and letting the tears leak from the cracks of his eyelids. The pressure on his wrists lifted slowly, and as they did, Roxas reached upward, grabbed the sides of Axel's ribs, and pulled down until the older man consented and lowered himself hesitantly over Roxas. Without opening his eyes, Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel tightly, running his fingers along the back of his skull into that thick mane of hair, and held his head close to his chest. Still trembling, he sobbed quietly, "I'm so sorry."

Axel didn't move. He didn't say a word. He just lay there, and let Roxas hold him, and let Roxas cry for him, and let Roxas love him, until they both drifted to sleep.

* * *

**My stretch of being free from writer's block is coming to an end, I think. I'm going to keep trying to write and update frequently for everyone enjoying this story. Personal life problems, however, are making me extremely depressed, and lately, I don't want to do anything but sleep and cry. Not complaining, just...venting, I guess. It's a bad time right now, which is unfortunate. I had been looking forward to this semester...but now I don't really feel like doing anything ever... I'm trying to fix it, but it's not really working right now... **

**Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Reviews would cheer me up, if that's any encouragement. 3**

**AnimeCountDown**


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, you certainly had a more interesting spring break than I did," Xion admitted with a distant chuckle. She had her head tilted back so she could look at the sky. It was clear and blue above them, but clouds in the distance said they'd be getting some showers tonight. "I don't even know where to start first... Sora still hasn't spoken to you?"

"Nope," Roxas sighed, kicking a rock down the street as they walked. It was one of those impossibly smooth stones, like the kind that was supposed to be good for skipping across lakes. "I stayed with Axel that night, and when I got back the next day, he'd already left with Kairi and the others. He'll hardly look at me now."

"You _did _slap him in the face," she reminded him gently, glancing at him in concern. "He probably feels like you're choosing Axel over him. And...no offense, but Sora doesn't always come off as incredibly...well, mature."

"No," Roxas exhaled, and bent down to scoop up the rock deftly. "No, he's not. But he completely judged me and made a ton of really harsh accusations without even asking me what happened first... He got it all wrong, and it...it pissed me off. He has this idea that I can't take care of myself, but nothing bad has happened at all."

"Yet," Xion added quietly. Roxas turned to her, startled, dropping the stone back onto the ground. She stopped and shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, but it happens to everyone. You said so yourself."

"Well...that doesn't mean..." Roxas looked away. He _had _said that. "Things are okay right now, though. If things are going to fall apart, it's either going to happen really soon, or not for a really long time... Do you think it's worth it?"

"What?" Xion asked, tilting her head in thought. "Dating?"

"Love?"

Xion stared at him, lips parting in a little "o" and eyes widening in fascinated shock. Blushing, Roxas started walking again, muttering under his breath for her to forget that he'd ever said anything. When she'd gotten over her surprise and caught up to him, at first she kept quiet. He could tell because of how tense and awkward it had gotten that she wanted to say something. Turned out, she could only keep it to herself until they were approaching the little hipster café she'd told him about earlier.

"Rox..." she said slowly, gently, because she really wanted to know and didn't want to set him off. She wanted to squeeze it out of him, hear him say it, because she just _had_ to know. Roxas was familiar with girls. He knew how their brains worked. "Do you really think...you _love_ him?"

"I don't know," he answered irritably. She was quiet again for a while. Roxas held the door open for her and they went in and ordered. Once they'd gotten their orders, they grabbed a booth in the back, away from the windows and doors. Roxas nibbled on his orange-glazed scone.

"Do you think he loves you?" Xion asked warily, watching him with big, blue eyes. Roxas glared at her over the top of his coffee.

"No," he muttered, and then raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you trying to make me mad at you?"

"Come on, Roxas," she said exasperatedly, putting her head in her hands and shaking it in disbelief. "You just dropped the 'L-word'. And you're Mr. Not-Until-College. This is completely unlike you... I'm just trying to figure out if...well..."

"Spit it out," Roxas mumbled, propping his chin up with his arm. Xion twisted her lips to the side.

"Well, if this is a good thing or a bad thing," she admitted, and then held her hands up in defense before he could say anything. "Just, hear me out, okay! Let's just look at the situation as a general whole, alright? One, there's the age difference. You're four years apart. Not to mention, you're a minor. Correct?"

"Yes," Roxas hissed, sinking into his seat and refraining to comment on the state's legal consent age being sixteen, not eighteen. He'd looked into it despite himself, not too long ago, and it was true. The only tricky part, was that if Axel and Roxas _did_ actually _do _anything, Axel couldn't be charged with statutory rape, but if she wanted, Roxas' grandmother could file a complaint against him for assisting a minor in delinquent behavior. Or something like that.

"Alright, so there's already a pretty big gap, which means neither of you are really going to be looking at each other from the same level," Xion reasoned. Roxas stared at her blankly. "Secondly, he admitted to sleeping around a lot, and something like that affects how much you feel you can trust him, right?"

"Uh-huh," Roxas admitted, inhaling slowly through his nose as Xion nodded and went on.

"Plus, your family already doesn't like him," she added.

"_Sora_ doesn't like him," Roxas amended. "My grandmother is kind of oblivious to everything that goes on outside our house."

Xion stared at him uncertainly.

"She's eighty-six," he deadpanned. "She's just the only one left. If she didn't take care of us as our 'legal guardian', we'd have to go to a foster home."

"Oh..." Xion breathed softly. "Well...okay. Sora already hates this guy, so bringing him into your life has already disrupted your flow."

"Yeah," Roxas agreed, nodding slowly. Xion frowned at him.

"I feel like I'm talking to a brick," she muttered, sipping at her Chai Tea Latte and glowering at him. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"I'm listening to you, Xion," he promised, "But I've already thought of everything your saying. For one, I like that he's older. He treats me differently than people my own age; we may not be on the same level necessarily, but I feel closer to him in the same way I feel closer to you than I do Kairi or even Sora. We're all on different levels that are influenced by our age, but not based on them. Some of us grow up faster. Our priorities are different. We'd have to be careful about me being a minor, but it's do-able, _and_ legal. I checked. I don't like the fact that he's slept around a lot...and I would be careful about doing anything with him until I felt safe. He told me something about his past that he's never told anyone, and I have to believe that makes me special. Why would he bother with it if he didn't care about me in some way or another? I don't know _why_ he cares so much about me in particular, but he could move on to another guy if he didn't want _me_. And quite frankly, I've gotten tired of the flow of my life. Sora can get over it. The entire time we've lived together, he's hovered over me like a guard dog, and for once, I feel like I might actually have some say in it. No, it might not be the simplest or smartest thing to get myself into... Hell, I might be a complete idiot just for trying... But..."

"Do you think he's capable of loving you?" Xion asked quietly. Roxas looked up at her.

"I... I think so," he answered softly. "I think he's hurting... And...I want to help him not hurt anymore. Maybe he just needs someone to bring him back..."

"People only come back from that kind of lifestyle if they want to, Roxas," Xion warned him, and he could tell she was torn. That's why he couldn't get mad at her. She wasn't telling him what to do; only telling him what they both knew was true. Reminding him. Making sure he knew. That's what friends were supposed to do. Look out for each other, not control them on puppet strings. "It has to be a mutual effort. You can't just pick him up and pull him back. He has to get up and walk back himself."

"I know," Roxas said with a faint smile. "I do know that much."

"Did you tell him...?" Xion asked after a few seconds of silence. Roxas turned his eyes to her, a silent question in them. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unable to meet his gaze suddenly. "About...you know, Marley..."

"I didn't think it was the right time," he replied, shaking his head. "I didn't want to overshadow him or anything, you know? But I will."

"Will you?" Xion pressed, raising an eyebrow at him doubtfully. Now it was Roxas who couldn't look at her. "Roxas, you can't even talk to Sora about it. The only reason I know is because of my mom."

"I know, Xion," Roxas said impatiently, tapping his fingers on the table. "It's not exactly a pleasant memory. But...I'm going to tell him. That was the deal, after all."

* * *

"You know, they have modern tea makers now that don't look like that," Roxas teased from the barstool as Axel rinsed out the teapot and their mugs with warm water. The redhead cast him a playfully sour look. "One of those would fit you a little better, I think."

"Oh?" he asked, snorting a little bit. Roxas pursed his lips. These were the times when he did feel younger than Axel. When they seemed to be laughing at two different things. _Not on the same level_.

"Just so you know," Roxas said quietly, folding his arms on the counter and resting his chin on top of them. He watched Axel's hands move back and forth along the rim of one of the cups, getting out all the residue before bending over to put them in the dishwasher. "For future reference."

"This one belonged to my mother, actually," Axel said, as if he was mentioning it looked a little cloudy outside. Roxas inhaled sharply as the redhead straightened back up. From this angle, Roxas couldn't see his face. "And the ones you're talking about are too expensive just to make a damn cup of tea."

"They are pretty pricey..." Roxas agreed softly, waiting until Axel had turned around and moved to something else before relaxing. He looked okay...wiping down the counter with a towel... He didn't seem bothered... When he was finished, Axel turned to him and gave him a confused little smirk.

"What's that face for?" he asked, crossing the kitchen and walking around the counter until he was right in front of Roxas. The blonde looked up at him, inwardly melting as Axel leaned down, wrapping his arms around his small body. "What's wrong, cutie?"

"Nothing," Roxas sighed happily, letting Axel lean forward to kiss his neck sweetly. He raised his hands and curled his fingers into Axel's shirt, just at his shoulders, and pressed himself forward.

"Mmm, are you finally giving in?" Axel joked, nipping at the sensitive place just beneath his ear. Roxas gasped, letting himself feel it and enjoy it. He was getting better at that...not taking everything to the extreme. Sometimes just relaxing...as long as it didn't go too far. "You finally going to let me make you mine?"

Roxas rolled his eyes and tsked.

"You don't have to have sex with me to make me yours," he muttered quietly, and if Axel hadn't been so close, if he'd still been on the other side of the kitchen, he probably wouldn't have heard. But he raised his head and looked at Roxas with those deep, perfect eyes with _that _expression, that unreadable damn expression that made Roxas warm from head to toe.

"Why do you have to say things like that?" Axel whispered, as if musing to himself. Roxas blinked, lips parting, but unsure of what to say or do. "You have no idea what it does to me."

"Tell me," Roxas suggested, and again, Axel smiled that little smile that told him he was laughing about something Roxas didn't understand. Before he could pout though, Axel leaned in ever so slowly.

"It makes me..." he whispered, before brushing a kiss against his ear. "Want to touch you." Another kiss, at the tip of his cheekbone. "Hold you..." Again, at his jaw. "_Ravish _you." The corner of his mouth. "It makes me..." He paused, hovering just over his lips. "Want to be the only one you ever look at. It makes me want to hide you away, so no one else can have you. It makes me want to worship every part of you... It makes me want to pin you down and make love to you until neither of us can move."

His kiss was somehow sweet and hard at the same time. Roxas melted against him, body trembling and weak and held up only by Axel's strong, steady arms. They pulled him in close as their lips locked together, a blazing fire passing from Axel's mouth to Roxas'. It made his heart flutter excruciatingly fast, made his entire body light up with heat, made all of his lungs beg for more. The moment they needed air was shared in the split second they were back at it again, wasting no more time in drawing each other in as close as possible. Roxas had his arms locked around Axel's neck, and the more he tugged, the more Axel came to him. He opened his legs and let him step between them, let him press their hips together as Axel pulled Roxas to the edge of his stool. Their kissing was feverish, sporadic now. Roxas gasped for air every moment his mouth was free, and poured everything into his kiss whenever it wasn't.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought he wasn't supposed to know how to do this. He'd never done it before. Any of it. He'd never so much as held hands with another person, let alone kiss him. Let alone grind against him like _that_. _Oh, yes, just like that_. Roxas moaned softly, and suddenly Axel growled at his throat, where he had been sucking down to his collarbone hastily. Lifting his own head up, he grabbed Roxas by the base of his skull, turning his head so their eyes met. Roxas could make out those passionately lit eyes; that was it. Everything else was blurring together.

"You are cruel," Axel hissed, but the deep, deadly tremor of his voice only made Roxas sigh blissfully and thrust his hips forward more forcefully. The stool beneath him teetered, but he knew if it fell, Axel would never drop him. Axel, whose eyes were shut as though in pain. Roxas understood a little bit of that now. That primal, hot-blooded, blinding lust. Roxas felt it now. It was all he wanted to give in to. "_Roxas_, you need to tell me... Tell me if we can…"

And yet, he was still, inexplicably afraid.

"I..." he forced out, not wanting to stop, but wondering how awful it was of him to do this to Axel...when he knew he wasn't ready to follow through. Roxas blinked a few times, meeting Axel's gaze as he opened his eyes slowly.

Axel knew before Roxas had said another word. Roxas didn't know how he knew, but his expression suddenly closed in a bitter, frustrated fury. Just like that, Axel let out a quick breath and pulled himself away. Not entirely. Just enough to make Roxas' heart—and his cock—throb in desperation. His lip trembled, begging him to say something so this perfection didn't have to end, but Roxas held his tongue. This wasn't right...not yet. It didn't matter how good it felt. He couldn't just give in the moment he had a taste... But oh, how it tasted so good.

"How long are you going to keep me on a string like this?" Axel whispered, not meeting his gaze. Roxas didn't reply, instead watched him. Waited to see what he would say next. It made him a little proud when he realized Axel was still trying to catch his breath, too. "I don't think I've ever waited this long to..."

Their eyes met. Something dark and irritated flitted to the surface of Axel's eyes. And for some reason...Roxas found that is pissed him off. How dare this bastard be mad at him! Roxas was the one who'd let Axel in against his better judgment.

"I can't take that kind of torment," Axel told him, pressing his lips together, with his lungs supposedly replenished. But his cheeks were ever-so-lightly colored. "You can't do that to me, Rox."

Roxas bristled.

"Then you shouldn't have kissed me," he blurted. He said it without thinking. He said it without knowing. He said it without meaning it.

But he might as well have slapped Axel in the face. The older boy tsked out of the corner of his mouth the moment he recovered from his shock.

"Fuck you, too, then," he muttered, and deftly turned around so all Roxas could see was his back. But Axel seemed torn between walking away and continuing the argument. It wasn't like he could really go anywhere, seeing as it was his home and all. "Why the hell are you even here, then?"

"Asshole, you know why," Roxas snapped, resisting the instinctive urge to cry. Once he felt that burning in the backs of his eyes, he slammed his teeth down hard on his bottom lip, hard enough that the pain shocked his tears into submission. Axel turned his head, not quite looking over his shoulder, but acknowledging him. Roxas sucked in a shaky breath, hating that his voice betrayed his resolve to not show any emotional weakness. "How am I the cruel one? I didn't create this... You forced it on me! Forced me to acknowledge you... Forced me to reject you... Forced me to let you in... Forced me to... To... And you _still _want more. I'm _sorry_ I'm not the pretty, little slut you thought I was when you first saw me. But that's not who I am... That's not who I _want _to be. That's the only decision I still have to make on my own! I'm not letting you force that too!"

It didn't matter how determined he'd been. The tears came out regardless, running hot down his cheeks, making stale, salty marks down his face and leaving his muscles all dried up and too tight. Axel didn't say anything, didn't move. Roxas used the opportunity to wipe at his face frantically, cursing under his breath all the same. He hated being this weak, this emotional...so vulnerable and feminine. Why couldn't he just keep his cool like Axel? Not let anything affect him, be numb to it all?

"I didn't think my being around you was that much of a hindrance," Axel said softly, but despite his calm tone, resentment laced his words. Roxas growled impatiently.

"Yes, you did," he argued. "You knew from the very beginning that you were going to completely upturn my life, didn't you?"

"No. I didn't."

"Then why the hell did you keep doing it, huh?" Roxas yelled. Inwardly, he knew he needed to gain control of himself, but he couldn't. Everything he'd kept inside him was bubbling over without reserve. "What other reason would you have, if I wasn't just some victim like you said? You told me you never stop once you find someone you want. But nobody thinks like that!"

"You're right," Axel admitted softly, the edge seeping from his voice. The anger. But that only ticked Roxas off more. How dare he just give in like that?

"Well, then why don't you explain yourself for once?" he demanded, and the silence that followed rang. It was a long silence, filled with Roxas' heavy breathing—he'd worn himself out just by screaming at the bastard—and one slow, deep sigh from Axel.

"You were just someone I wanted to fuck," he said. Roxas nearly doubled over, his stomach clenching so badly, the only thing on his mind was finding the nearest place to vomit. But Axel wasn't finished. "When I first saw you, I figured you'd be game. With your face, there was no way I considered you'd be so innocent. I thought you'd be like me, like every other good-looking person around. Especially at a party like that. Sleep with whoever. But then I cornered you...and you weren't what I expected. You weren't coy or seductive at all...at least not intentionally. When your face lit up all red, with your body trembling that close to mine, that combination of awe and lust and fear in those gorgeous blues eyes...staring up at me like that... Roxas, I... I'll admit, I was entranced... I've been with some damn attractive people...but no one like you. When your cousin came barging in, I was pretty pissed. But it broke your spell."

"Spell...?" Roxas repeated slowly. His stomach was still in knots, but a part of him wanted to hear what Axel had to say—desperately. He'd wanted to know since the start of it.

"Yeah, the second you left, I got over you," he went on. Roxas frowned, biting his tongue to keep more tears in. What a bastard... "I found someone else a few minutes later, and slept with them instead."

"Thanks," Roxas bit harshly, but it came out like a squeak because of the tears he was containing. Either the word, the reaction, or his crying got Axel to turn around though. Those eyes were careful not to show too much, but if Roxas didn't know better...he saw a small apology in them as well.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry for that," he warned, shaking his head. "At the time, I didn't even know your name, Rox. You might have made one hell of an impression on me, but I didn't think I'd ever even see you again. I didn't want to sleep with you that night because I had feelings for you. I just needed to get it out of my system. When you weren't an option anymore, I just went to the next person. That's how I was."

Roxas looked down at the floor, daring to put it out there.

"_Was_...?"

"Yes, you idiot," Axel sighed, tsking again, but this time, a little more good-naturedly. "When you showed up at the library, I figured it was a coincidence. I just wanted to tease you a little for the hell of it, and if you fell for me, shit, I wouldn't have minded doing it right there against the bookshelf."

Roxas turned red and glared at him. Axel shrugged, as if what he'd said had been completely harmless.

"Your reaction to me that time might have been the first real hook to get to me," he continued. "I thought it was interesting that someone so shy and reserved...who could look at me with that totally romantic look...could stand up to me so passionately as well. You didn't just say no, you said _hell no_ and totally bitched me out. Not to say I was intimidated or anything. Really, I found it rather amusing."

"Dick."

"But it fascinated me," Axel finished, smiling fondly, "So that's why, when I ran into you again, I figured I had to take advantage of it, right? That's why I asked for your phone number...because for the first time since my mom died, I was really interested in someone because of who they were. You were different. Somebody who struck me as...worthy, I guess. If I had to fight for you, I was willing to do what it took to impress you. To reel you in... Except you were the one who had _me_ hooked, not the other way around. Before I knew it, you were on my mind all the time, I was texting you whenever I could. After that day...Christmas Eve...I haven't slept with anyone since that day."

"You...haven't...?" Roxas asked slowly. Axel met his gaze directly, with an expression in them that made Roxas warm and tingly.

"Since before then, obviously," he amended, shrugging. "I can't remember the exact date, but Christmas Eve is really when I realized it. That's when I knew."

Roxas blinked, waiting for Axel to continue.

"Knew what...?" he prompted, raising an eyebrow.

"That you really were the one I wanted," Axel sighed, like it had been a battle for him to even get it out. The words, though, had their impact. "That I wanted to be the one who saves you from the damn storm. That I wanted to be the one who makes you blush like a little girl. The one who makes your fever go away, and is here when you need someone to talk to. Just talk. I don't want you to think I'm doing all this...just for some triumphant conquest..."

"I...I had hoped you weren't," Roxas murmured, glancing away ashamedly. "But I had my doubts... Just because I'd heard the rumors, some you confirmed for yourself, and I really didn't know. We'd never talked about it... All of this kind of just happened between us. So, I... I trust you, Axel... I guess, logically, it didn't make sense for you to keep me around just for that...if there wasn't some other reason..."

"That's stupid, Rox," Axel tsked, rolling his eyes, but there was affection behind the gesture. "Nobody keeps an annoying brat around like you this long _just_ for sex."

"Hey!"

"I care about you, Roxas," Axel said softly. Roxas couldn't find his breath. Axel stepped toward him, lifting his hand and gently touching Roxas' face. "I don't want you to feel forced into anything...but I don't want to give you up, either. You have become precious to me."

_Precious?_

"I..." Roxas stammered, lips trembling, but without the air-power to keep any real words out. Axel chuckled, leaned forward, and pressed another kiss to his mouth.

This one was sweeter than the first. It was gentle and light, and scooped Roxas up as if gravity had decided to bid them adieu. Roxas moaned softly into the kiss, raising his hands to rest them lightly on top of Axel's, which cupped his face tenderly. Whereas before, Axel had filled him with heat and desire, this one simply made him feel loved. He'd never really felt that way before.

* * *

It was impossible to think this time of the year had come around so soon again. That period when the halls were lined with banners and posters, and every other minute, someone was professing their love to someone else in the halls. That kind of thing started early, and only grew more intense as the days counted down. By the last week of it, Roxas nearly got sick to his stomach every time he had to walk from one class to another.

Roxas sighed, placing his cheek in his hand and watching yet another over-the-top prom proposal. This one was in the cafeteria, involving a megaphone, a poorly written rap, and some flowers. For whatever reason, though, the girl in question was a total sucker for the whole thing and made a huge deal about saying yes. It made Roxas feel a little better, though, that Sora didn't look any more impressed either. In fact, he looked pretty pissed over it. And everyone knew why.

"Well, that was cute," Kairi chuckled, tilting her head and smirking in a way that said just how pleased with herself she was. She'd been like that a lot lately. "I wouldn't call it the _best_ prom invitation ever, but I guess it was alright."

"It seemed to make _her_ happy," Roxas snorted, giving Kairi another sideways glare. She shot him a dirty look for trying to ruin her fun. "I don't really think they need your approval. Or want it."

"Coming from someone who can't even _go _to prom," she scoffed, quirking an eyebrow at him. It still bothered her that he was so unimpressed by everything she did, and even more so now that he'd begun to directly challenge her. "I don't even think your criminal boyfriend is allowed on school grounds."

"Like I give a shit about some dance where everyone dresses up and gets drunk," Roxas dismissed, rolling his eyes at her. She pursed her lips at his answer. "It's the same thing as every other party you've ever been to, except you spend ten times the money preparing for it. What the hell's the point of that? I think you're foolish for getting so excited about it, especially when you're only a sophomore. That means you'll have to pay for this whole thing three whole times. That's just dumb."

"What would you know about it anyway?" Kairi snapped impatiently, putting both of her hands on the table and leaning forward with her glare. "Guys don't even understand the half of it anyway. Even if you are gay, you're not a girl, Roxas, and that's half the fun."

"If being a girl means I'd get my fun from things as materialistic and empty as _prom_, I think I prefer to find my happiness as a man," Roxas replied calmly, keeping his gaze locked with hers. Everyone else at the table was silent, unsure whether to interfere or not. Defending Kairi meant she was unable to handle herself, and she could easily turn on any one of them as well. "Thanks."

"Man?" she spit angrily, pushing herself up into a standing position. "Like you could ever be one, you _puny_, _insignificant_ _fag_."

"_Shut up_, Kairi!"

Roxas looked up in mild surprise. Kairi's words had wounded him no more than they ever had before—sure she'd gone a little overboard this time, but it wasn't like she was the first to call him that. _Sora_, though... They all gaped at him, silent and unmoving.

"_Excuse_ me?" Kairi spluttered, facing him with a look of utter disgust. After she'd gotten over the initial shock of her most loyal disciple betraying her, of course. "What did you just say to me?"

"I... I told you to shut up," Sora repeated himself, lowering his voice but standing his ground. Roxas watched, wide-eyed, but cautious. "Just because you think so highly of yourself doesn't mean everyone's going to agree with you. And when they don't, you can't just go whipping out insults left and right. Especially at my cousin."

"Your _cousin_ is an asshole," she defended, flicking her hair over her shoulder and straightening. "You're just mad because I'm going to prom with Riku, and you can't even ask me."

Sora pressed his lips together, glowering at Kairi, but unable to deny her claim. The embarrassing part was that Roxas, and everyone else at the table, knew that it was entirely true. Ever since Kairi had told them the story about how Riku—who was a junior, thus able to attend prom and invite an underclassman—had asked her to go with him, Sora had been in a foul mood. He'd gone from ignoring only Roxas to hardly talking to anyone at all.

"You're really going to just have to get over that," Kairi went on, Sora's hesitation giving her a little more confidence. Before she could say another word, though, Roxas tsked and got onto his feet as well.

"My cousin can do better than you," he told her, to which she flushed brightly despite her previous smugness. "He may not know it yet, but you're just a waste of his time."

"How..._dare_..."

"Just stop, Kairi," Roxas said, stepping away from the table and shaking his head at her pitifully. "Maybe one day you'll see it too. It's such a waste that a beautiful girl like you is such a nasty bitch."

"Better a bitch than a faggot," she muttered under her breath, but it was all she had left. He smiled.

"It's alright, Sora," he said before his cousin could open his mouth—and it was obvious he was about to. "I don't care what she calls me. She's right, after all. I'm gay. But I'm not about to be ashamed of that. I'll see you at home."

With that, Roxas turned on his heel and made his way across the cafeteria, where he'd known all along his only real friend had sat. She was easy to find, with her inky hair and doll-like face, her hipster-esque style standing out in a sea of pastel polos and mini-skirts. Xion looked up at him as he approached, blinking a couple times before giving him the brightest smile he'd ever seen her give him. It was not only a smile of gratitude, but one of pride as well. For him. For finally doing what he'd wanted despite the status quo.

"I take it this seat isn't taken," Roxas asked, pulling out a chair and pointing at it before he helped himself. She rolled her eyes and snorted.

"Hasn't been all year," she confirmed with a grin. As he sat down, she patted him on the shoulder. "Good to finally see you, Rox."

* * *

**Eh, I got you didn't I? X) You thought you were gonna figure out Roxas' secret this chapter, didn't you? Bahaha, not today, my darlings. Not today. You'll have to satiate your appetite with fillers and character development. I threw in a kiss scene for you, though. :3**

**So, how about, I've had two days of class, and I already have homework out the ass. As a theatre student, I normally have at least one class that requires what we call "crew" (out-of-class time spent helping a department prepare for the show). For example, classes requiring crew include costuming, props, paint, construction, and lighting. Could be forgetting something in there. But this semester, I'm not taking any of those classes, so I don't have crew (aside from being Lead Assistant Stage Manager for Dracula, which we had our first rehearsal today, and ohmygodit'samazingsofar, but that's my major and stage management isn't considered D&P [design and production] so being at rehearsal isn't really crew... o.O). However, these are the classes I AM taking: **

**1. Shakespeare: The Comedies **

**2. Theatre History-Literature II (Writing Intensive)**

**3. Social Psychology**

**4. Japanese **

**5. Oral Interpretation**

**6. Exercise Fitness**

**7. Apprentice Production (basically getting credit for being Lead ASM on Dracula)**

**SO. If you can't tell, I'll spell it out. Yesterday, I was assigned to read the first acts of both Dr. Faustus (one of my FAVORITE PLAYS EVAR) and A Midsummer Night's Dream (two different classes), plus Aristotle's Poetics, which is due tomorrow. I have to write a proposal for a 12-page paper by Friday. I need to do my first Japanese assignment and read the course packet for another class. TWO DAYS OF CLASS AND THIS IS WHAT I GET. I JUST got my financial aid today, and when I went to buy the books at the cheap store (because buying your books on campus is for stupid rich people [no offense for people who do that; excuse my bitterness because I has no money]) the books I need for tomorrow were all SOLD OUT. Not to mention, I have been at rehearsal every night from 6:00-12:00. -_-**

**I haven't started on anything. **

**And I need the first act of Faustus read (re-read, really) and Aristotle's Poetics read by 8:00AM. **

**BAAAAAAAA, haha. I literally got home from school, turned around and drove to get my books, then rushed to rehearsal, and got back home at midnight. Annnnd I'm being an idiot by posting this and my Drabble-sequel to Chains/Birth (totally go check it out) instead of reading my plays. x) Because I've procrastinated on this for so long, and I wanted to tell you all about my first sophomore classes. **

**On another note, I had a lovely dream about Norman Reedus whispering dirty (and delicious) things in my ear last night. I was expecting Mr. Miyagi to walk in as my Japanese teacher, and a gorgeous 24-year-old who likes to chat (for an hour, actually) after class did instead (I get to call him sensei, ermagerd). And I get to watch a bunch of extremely attractive young men (especially the students playing Dracula and Seward; HOT DAMN) in suits (nothing like a guy in formal wear, am I right?) speaking in British accents every night rehearsing one of my OTHER favorite plays. **

**So, even though I'm totally stressing out, I feel very chill. Today was a good day. ;)**

**And it'll be even better if you review. :P **

**AnimeCountDown**


	6. Chapter 6

"Prom, eh?" Axel chuckled, then cocked his head to the side, as if thinking back to his high school days. Roxas brightened, always eager for a glimpse into Axel's past. He liked imagining what a younger Axel might have been like.

"Did you go to yours?" Roxas prompted, sipping from his straw and never taking his eyes off Axel, who was still staring off into space fondly.

"Nah," he scoffed with a shake of his head. "They have that dress code, and I couldn't really afford to meet their standards, you know? My dad wasn't too fond of the idea either."

"Oh..." Roxas trailed, glancing away only a moment before smiling again. "Did you want to? Like...do you regret not going?"

"Well, I kinda wanted to at the time," he admitted, shrugging a little. He picked off another of the chips on his plate. There were only a few left, his sandwich long gone—except for the crust, of course. "I still cared about stuff like that then, and my friends were going. But looking back on it, I don't care much now. I don't think I missed out on anything really special."

"I hoped you'd say that," Roxas giggled with a smile.

"Yeah?" Axel inquired, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I told Kairi she was stupid for caring so much about it," he said, turning pink and moving to hide behind his cup. But rather than scolding him like Roxas had feared, Axel laughed out loud and reached over to ruffle his hair fondly.

"Good for you," he praised, grinning ear to ear. Roxas smiled back timidly, blushing now with pride. "I'm sure she was thrilled."

"I think she saw it coming," Roxas dismissed. "What _really_ threw her off was Sora telling her off, too."

"Really now?" Axel asked, a little more seriously. "What for?"

"Well..." Roxas twisted his lips to the side in thought, wondering which part to start with first. "I think Sora's been pretty upset with Kairi anyway, since Riku asked her to prom and she said yes. Sora really wanted to ask her, but you're not allowed to go without an invitation if you're an underclassman. Anyway, so he was already bitter about prom. Then she called me a faggot, and I guess he's not _too _mad at me, because that's when he stood up for me. The look on her face was comical."

"Hm..." Roxas looked back at Axel, who was staring at him thoughtfully, almost worriedly if Roxas had to guess. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"About her calling you that?" Axel elaborated slowly. Roxas frowned, narrowing his eyes uncertainly.

"Uh...I guess...?" he answered hesitantly, not sure what Axel was getting at. The redhead glanced around them, checking out their surroundings, but it was pretty empty. Panera Bread was one of the more popular spots in town, but the crowd died down around four-ish, so they were one of the only tables there. And nobody else was even remotely close to being within hearing distance. Roxas glanced around unsurely as well, before fixing Axel with a confused stare. "What?"

"I mean..." Axel scratched the back of his head, face contorted. It was obvious how uncomfortable he was. "I don't know... That would bother most people."

"It's not like it's the first time I've heard it," Roxas snorted, touched that Axel was concerned about his emotions, but dismissive of the topic in general. Axel looked at him in surprise.

"It isn't?" They stared at each other blankly until Roxas squinted at him.

"No..."

"When else...?" Roxas sighed, shaking his head and sitting back in his chair.

"Like, all my life?" he replied, watching as Axel's expression changed from disbelief to utter surprise. "What is with you? Just because people like my cousin doesn't mean everyone in the world is okay with me being gay, you know. I'm pretty sure every gay kid has heard the word 'faggot' at some point in his life."

"I didn't think you were..._out_," Axel said simply. Roxas blinked at him.

It was possibly the most awkward moment they'd ever stumbled across.

"I've been out since I was nine, Axel," Roxas said blankly. It was suddenly Axel's turn to flush a little and look away in embarrassment. "It's kind of obvious. Plus, everyone at that party saw us together. Don't you think Sora would have said something about a _guy_ hitting on his cousin if he didn't know I was gay?"

"I wondered why he didn't mention it," Axel told him, looking back up at him, unsure. "Since you were _nine_?"

"Uh, _yeah_."

"Why?" Axel asked. Roxas deflated.

"Because I'm gay...?" he replied incredulously. "I seriously don't understand what you're trying to get at here. Aren't you out?"

"Yeah..." Axel said, shrugging. "But not until after my father went to prison. I figured it out some time in high school, but if he'd ever found out... He probably would have killed me first. To come out so early...I find that incredibly brave. And I guess I was just surprised because you're so little... I forget sometimes that you don't need protecting. You really don't care about what other people think of you, huh?"

"Um...not really, I guess..." Roxas muttered, poking at the remainder of his brownie. The ones here weren't as good as Starbucks, but they were still delicious. Moist and chocolatey. Except Roxas' appetite for sweets was suddenly quiet. "I wouldn't blame yourself for not coming out earlier, though. That's not your fault."

"It makes me wish I hadn't been such a coward around him," Axel went on. Roxas clenched his jaw, pinching a piece of the brownie apart and squishing it between his fingertips. "Maybe if I'd stood up to him earlier or gone to get help instead of being so afraid of him, she'd still be alive right now."

"She wouldn't be," Roxas whispered. He was staring at the table, but he saw Axel's head snap back out of the corner of his eye.

"Excuse me?" Axel said, sounding shocked, offended, pissed, and curious all at once. Roxas didn't reply, just kept looking down, poking holes into his uneaten pastry with his index finger. When he still wouldn't answer, Axel bent forward, lowering his head so he could try to look Roxas in the eyes. "What did you just say to me?"

"Coming out was the worst thing I ever did," Roxas told him quietly. He could feel those intensely lit eyes on him like fire burning through his skull. "I can't believe anything would be different for you now if you'd tried to do something about it earlier."

"Rox," Axel murmured. Roxas flicked his eyes toward Axel, but still couldn't quite meet his gaze. Just enough to let him know he was listening. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he whispered back. He saw Axel's lips press into a thin line, saw his fingers drum against the table impatiently.

"When will you?" he asked. Roxas moved his shoulders up and down.

"I don't know," he muttered. "Later. Not now."

"Roxas..." Axel murmured, and suddenly he was gripping his chin softly between his fingers, turning his face forward. Roxas still wouldn't look at him. Eyes anywhere but those beautiful green pools of flames. "Roxas."

"No."

"Roxas, look at me, damn it," he hissed, but there was still an overwhelming amount of affection in every word. Roxas' lower lip trembled. He stared past Axel's shoulder. _No._ "Do you want to go somewhere else to talk about it...? Would that help?"

Roxas didn't answer.

"I need you to talk to me, baby," Axel murmured, his fingers soft beneath his jaw, gentle as his other hand ran into his blonde hair. "Please don't shut me out like this."

"I'm not," Roxas said. His eyes were on a crack in the wall next to them. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Axel sighed, and gave up. He retreated for now, but left him with a gentle kiss to the forehead. "I'll wait until you're ready."

Roxas stared down at his lap. His eyes burned. His throat was so tight it might as well have been strangling itself. His ribs ached from his heart beating on them. It seemed as though he was making Axel wait for an awful lot these days.

* * *

Roxas loved his books. There was something beautifully distinctive and familiar about them that made his stomach warm the moment their scent wafted to his nose. It was an aged smell, of leather and paper and ink. He could easily determine whether or not a book was old or new simply by flipping open the book and burying his nose between the pages. In a single glance, he could tell if the spine was mercilessly broken, if any of the pages had been disrespectfully dog-eared, or if any harmful substances had stained its loveliness.

It was part of the reason why Roxas loved this time of year so much. When final exams were approaching, and all the craziness died down for a while, replaced with a safe, subtle calm. Rowdy teenagers put a lid on all their antics as indulgences gave way to the stress of meeting parent and university expectations. All parties and distractions were put firmly on hold until graduation. And Roxas adored the two weeks of peace he was allowed with his books.

Even Sora buckled down when he needed to. They studied together at home, the difference between the two clear as day. Roxas relaxed on his bed, at ease with the world as he flipped through his biology textbook, freshening up on some of the earlier lessons. On the nightstand next to his bed sat a neat stack of his other reading material, in order of importance. Sora, on the other hand, was leaning over his desk, hands in his messy hair, chewing on the end of an already-gnawed-through pencil, eyes flicking from one side of the page in front of him to the other. The entire surface of the desk was littered with untidy stacks of paper, notebooks open to pages full of scrawling notes, beaten up textbooks, and candy wrappers. He wasn't as good at this as Roxas was.

"Ugh," Sora groaned, letting his head drop and slamming his forehead onto the desk. Roxas jumped in surprise, the crack of Sora's skull smacking against wood filling him with concern. Before he could ask if his cousin was alright, though, Sora muttered, "This is hopeless."

"You're just panicking too much," Roxas told him, looking back to his book. "If you'd relax a little, you'd see that there's nothing to stress over. When you get all anxious like that, you just psyche yourself out and made it harder to concentrate than it really is."

"Easy for you and your gigantic IQ to say," Sora sighed, glaring at him enviously over his shoulder. "You like this sort of stuff, you weirdo."

"IQ is genetic," Roxas informed him, turning a page and looking over the diagram on the next one. "If mine is high, chances are, yours is too. Besides, good grades are entirely attainable with an average intelligence, too. It might be harder, but you just have to focus."

"But it's boring," Sora whined, falling limply over the back of his chair. Roxas raised an eyebrow at his cousin. "How do you _do_ this? Every time I think I'm actually learning something, I realize I haven't even been reading for the past ten minutes. I'm just looking at the page. I can't get past two sentences without zoning out!"

"Then figure out a different way to study," Roxas suggested, setting his book in his lap with a sigh. Sora tilted his head back so he could look at him from an upside down angle. "Not everyone can do it just by reading. Not everyone's brain works that way."

"Well, give me an idea, then," Sora commanded. Roxas tsked at him, rolling his eyes and turning back to his book. For a moment, Sora was quiet. "You make that sound a lot now. I think you picked it up from him."

"He has a name," Roxas reminded Sora without looking away from his reading. "And yes, I think he's rubbed off on me in some ways. He's helped me grow up a little, I think."

"Like you needed help in that department," Sora deadpanned, but then pursed his lips awkwardly and said a bit softer, "But you seem happier now... I mean, I don't see you as much and you act differently now...but I guess this is just the real you, huh?"

"Feels like me," Roxas said, raising his eyes steadily to meet Sora's. His cousin seemed both sad, but accepting. "He's a good man, Sora. I hope you two can meet without killing each other some day."

"How can you say shit like that and sound so serious?" Sora asked, pouting before becoming serious again. "But I guess I do, too. I still feel weird about you two dating, since he's so much older and everything—"

"I never said we're dating!" Roxas exclaimed, turning red and whipping his head around to stare at Sora in alarm. His cousin blinked, wide-eyed.

"Uh. Sorry," he said. "I kind of just assumed."

"Well don't," Roxas muttered, pulling his knees up to his chest and burrowing his head as deeply into the pages as he could. It was dark and quiet in there, just like he liked...

"Aren't you, though?" Sora asked. Roxas glared at him from around the book to find his cousin frowning at him. "You spend all your time together. I know you probably...kiss and shit. I've seen you with him in public before. Rox, you're dating."

"No," Roxas denied, wishing his face would just cool down! Maybe then he could actually think! "I told you I didn't want to be in a relationship until after high school. Just because we're really close doesn't mean it's...like that."

"Yes, it does," Sora told him plainly. Now it was Sora lecturing _him_. Why did things always get turned around like that so quickly?

"I disagree," Roxas said, ending the conversation. But Sora refused to give up.

"Roxas, you have a boyfriend."

"I do not!" he shouted, slamming his book closed and swinging his feet off the bed. "I told you that kind of thing isn't for me!"

"Well, just make sure Axel knows that," Sora said, watching his cousin warily and turning back to his work. "You might want to make sure you two are on the same page."

* * *

"Can I take this blindfold off now?" Roxas sighed, arms crossed, slumped in his seat, and pouting childishly. He felt Axel lean closer and plant a kiss low on his cheek.

"Not yet, cutie," he teased. Roxas flushed and turned away, face toward the window even though he couldn't look out it.

"Pay attention to the road!" he muttered sourly. He couldn't lie to himself, though. His stomach was all full of butterflies; it had been since Axel had told him there was a surprise for him. Trying to act unimpressed had only made Axel laugh as he'd tied the pretty red silk cloth over his eyes. "You can't go and get me killed, you know. Then Sora will never like you."

"Oh, yeah..." Axel tsked, but with a sigh that remained good-natured about the reminder. "Guess you'll have to officially introduce us at some point. Too bad I made such a bad first impression, huh?"

"It could have been better," Roxas agreed quietly. A pause.

"You okay?" Axel asked, to which Roxas nodded hastily.

"Yeah, yeah, of course!" he said, chuckling to himself in an attempt to sound convincing. Not being able to see Axel's expression only served to unnerve him, though. "But there's no rush, obviously. You don't have to meet him or anything. It's not like I'm going to force you, you know."

"We can wait 'til whenever you're ready," Axel promised, voice light and cheerful as he placed a comforting hand on Roxas' knee. They were both quiet for a moment. "Do you want me to meet Sora?"

"Well, yeah, I guess..." Roxas replied, shifting in his seat awkwardly. "Of course...eventually..."

"I don't have to meet your family if it makes you uncomfortable," Axel said, his words so sweet and gentle. "I would like to, but I understand if that's too much right now. I'm the first guy you've been with, right?"

"Been with?" Roxas snapped, and he heard Axel chuckle softly. "That makes it sound dirty!"

"What's dirty is that blindfold..." Axel sighed longingly, fingers squeezing Roxas' leg in the perfect place to make everything below his hips tingle. "You look so sexy like that, Roxas."

"I told you to pay attention to the road!" Roxas demanded, slapping blindly at Axel's hands. It must have made a comical sight because the redhead only laughed some more before ruffling his hair.

"Woah, there, tiger," he chuckled. "Don't get too feisty or I'll have to pull over."

"Don't even try it!" Roxas exclaimed, shoving away Axel's hands no matter how good they felt on his scalp. "When are we getting there anyway? It's been, like, an hour."

"Try fifteen minutes," Axel corrected with an amused snort. Roxas stuck his tongue out in his general direction. "Oh, how mature, baby. Keep doing that, I'm gonna have to suck on it a little."

"No you won't!" Roxas yelled, pulling his tongue back into his mouth hastily. Axel was still laughing.

"We kiss all the time," he reminded Roxas teasingly, who blushed brightly at those memories... "And you still get all flustered about it?"

"You talk about it like a total pervert!" Roxas told him, frowning. "Excuse me for having some decency..."

"Oh, please," Axel sighed, and the backs of his fingers slid seductively down Roxas' cheek. "I know you think about it all the time."

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" Roxas snapped. He felt the car slow to a near-stop, then turn and keep going. His heart jumped. "Are we almost there?"

"_Yes_, darling," Axel joked. "We're almost there. Don't explode on me now."

"I was just asking," Roxas muttered, pursing his lips. Why did he always have to make fun of him like that...? Though...he had to admit, Axel had been rather cheerful in general today. Maybe...he was just really excited about this "surprise" too.

They drove for a little while longer in silence. The entire time, Roxas' mind was whirling with ideas and questions and hopes. On one hand, he didn't want to get his hopes up too high, because that would just mean letting himself down if whatever Axel was planning fell short. Then again...his heart couldn't help but flutter and skip excitedly whenever he thought of the fact that Axel had planned anything for him in the first place. The guy Roxas had originally thought to be a perverted bastard had really turned out to be a sweet and kind gentleman. Fancy that. He felt so lucky...he didn't want to blow it.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the car stopped, and Roxas heard Axel's door open and close soon after. He squirmed in his seat anxiously, excited and nervous and teeming with all kinds of emotions—some good, some that left him a bit worn out. But when Axel opened his passenger door, scooped him up like a bride, and lifted him out of the car that way, his heart nearly stopped.

"I can walk..." he mumbled unconvincingly as Axel kicked the door shut and promptly began walking, not bothering to set Roxas down or remove his blindfold. With the way Roxas felt his face blushing and how he was curled contently against Axel's chest, though... It was pretty obvious he didn't want to be anywhere else.

"I love how small you are," Axel murmured sweetly, leaning forward to kiss him gently. Every nerve in his lips lit up, made more sensitive by the lack of his sight. Those kisses were warm and beautiful. "Sometimes I can't help but think you're the best of both worlds."

"Both worlds?" Roxas inquired. All around them was quiet. He knew they were outside, somewhere secluded, away from the suburbs. What was out here in the middle of nowhere Axel wanted Roxas to see?

"Don't get mad or anything," Axel warned. "But in ways, it's like I'm dating a boy and a girl at the same time."

_Dating_. Roxas sucked in his breath and turned red.

"It's not a bad thing," Axel reassured him, unaware that Roxas wasn't all too concerned with what he's said about him being like a girl. In fact, that part might have made him smile had he not been so mortified by the _other_ part. "I don't have a preference, really, so it's refreshing to see the best of both in someone."

"You're bi?" Roxas asked, his surprise overriding his initial embarrassment.

"I thought you knew that," Axel said, not even sounding tired despite carrying Roxas' weight. Where on earth was he taking him? Roxas shook his head. "Huh. Well, yeah. Sort of a byproduct of the 'sleep with whatever walks' deal."

"Right..." Roxas breathed, but Axel planted another kiss on him firmly.

"Not anymore, before you start getting all paranoid," he said, and then stopped. "Alright, baby. Take it off."

"Does _everything_ you say have to sound so—" Roxas stopped midsentence as he pulled the blindfold away from his eyes. Eyes wide, lips parted, he could only stop and stare in awed silence. "Oh... Axel..."

"Like it...?" If Roxas didn't know any better, he'd say Axel sounded rather uncharacteristically nervous. It made his heart beat all the faster.

Roxas had been right when he'd guessed Axel was taking him to the middle of nowhere. In fact, there wasn't a building in sight anywhere. Instead, they were in the corner of an enormous, empty field that had managed to survive all the bulldozing and landscaping of the modern world. The grass around them was a perfect spring green, covered in flowers of every pastel on the color spectrum. Just in front of them was a towering tree that twisted and curved toward the sky. It was one of those trees that breathed of an ancient age, one that provided shade and mysticism and balance. It was what was beneath that tree that made Roxas' breath catch.

Ornate paper lanterns hung from the lowest branches of the tree, filling the air with a warm orange hue that warded off the oncoming dusk. Beneath them was a small, circular table, dressed in a clean white cloth and sparkling silverware. The centerpiece of the table was a red vase brimming with peach-tipped roses and stocks of lavender. Two, small red candles sat on either side of the flower arrangement, sitting in their matching silver holders, waiting to be lit. Roxas couldn't stop staring.

"Happy birthday, cutie," Axel murmured quietly in his ear. Roxas turned his head back to Axel slowly, taking in that expression of warm affection with the same shock and adoration he'd taken everything else in. When he still didn't say anything, Axel gave a little shrug, glancing away self-consciously. "Too cliché...?"

"Axel," Roxas breathed, taking that pretty face into his hands and bringing it down so he could kiss Axel solidly on the mouth. The redhead complied easily, melting into Roxas' touches eagerly. Pulling away, Roxas whispered, "Thank you... It's beautiful."

"You do like it?" Axel asked, and Roxas' lip trembled when he saw the hope and pride glimmer through those shiny green eyes. Laughing to himself, Roxas wiped at his own eyes as they started bubbling over.

"Of course," he said, looking at the display before him, and then giving Axel another grateful smile. "I love it, Axel."

"Good." Axel walked to one of the two chairs and bent over to set Roxas down with the utmost care. He kissed him briefly before crossing to the other side, and leaning over to retrieve something hidden under the table that Roxas couldn't see. He bit his lip in anticipation, lifting his chin to try to peek over. When Axel popped back up with two glasses and a bottle in his hand, Roxas nearly burst out laughing. Axel grinned as he did the honor of pouring. "I told you it was cliché."

"I've never tried wine before," Roxas admitted, taking his glass and peering into it with innocent curiosity. Axel chuckled, but let him have his fun at sniffing and swirling the drink as he leaned over to withdraw more items from the other side of the table. While he waited, Roxas inspected his wine. It was a brilliantly rich red, a color reminiscent of something dark and sexy. He tilted a sip onto his tongue and swallowed. "That's actually not bad. It's better than beer, I'll say that."

"That's what I was aiming for," Axel said as he lifted himself back up and came to stand behind Roxas. The blonde twisted his head, trying to see what it was Axel had in his hands, but Axel was too fast for him. He was already lowering the small plate in front of him, and lifting the fancy cover away to reveal the treasure it held inside it. "And I actually made this one, believe it or not."

"Oh, wow..." Roxas blinked at the delicacy in front of him: a decadent, chocolate mini-cake, lathered in smooth icing, drizzled with a layer of white chocolate, and garnished with chocolate curls and sliced strawberries. His mouth watered just as he looked at it, though his stomach coiled when Axel wrapped his arms around him from behind and kissed him tenderly beneath his jaw. His sharp inhale did not go unnoticed.

"I just wanted to say thank you, baby," he murmured against his throat. Roxas, cheeks flushed and chest tight, couldn't focus on breathing, could only listen. "I never thought I'd meet someone like you... Thank you for giving me a chance like this."

"Axel, I..." Roxas turned his head, looked into those eyes, couldn't get the words out. "How did you know it was my birthday?"

"I did some stalking," he admitted with a very proud grin, not missing a beat. "Nah, I just paid some kid who works in the school office as an intern to look into it for me. I'd go through any lengths to make you happy."

If Axel kept this up, Roxas' heart was going to give out by the end of the night.

"Well, now I need to know your birthday," he said with a pout. Axel laughed, kissing him quickly and then moving away to light the candles. The sun had begun to set already. Roxas couldn't help but be mesmerized by the soft, iridescent glow that surrounded them. Their own world, swallowed by a surreal, alternate reality. Where everything was perfect. There was no pain or heartbreak or death; only Roxas and Axel.

"It's in January," he told Roxas with a shrug. Roxas frowned.

"I missed it..."

"Well," Axel sighed. "You'll just have to stick around with me until you can make up for it, yeah?"

"I...well, sure..." Roxas murmured, catching Axel's attention. Roxas glanced away, but he still caught that soft, unreadable smile. Axel kneeled in front of Roxas, really _kneeled_, and took Roxas' hands in both of his, pulling them close to his chest.

"Rox." The blonde dared to lift his eyes to Axel's. "You don't have to be afraid of everything I say. I know this is scary for you. I know you're worried I'll get tired of you, that I'll lie to you, that you aren't important to me. But you _are_. And when I say I want to make you happy, Roxas, I truly, really mean it. You've lit up my entire life when all it's been is darkness. I know it will take time, but I'll say it as many times as I have to until you believe me."

"Axel..." Roxas didn't know what he was trying to say. In fact, he didn't think he was trying to say anything. He just wanted to say that name. That beautiful, perfect name that made him tremble.

"You're so sweet, Roxas," Axel whispered with a sigh, reaching one hand up to wipe at the tears already slipping from Roxas' eyes. "You feel every emotion with everything you have, don't you? I love that about you. You don't half-ass anything."

"I guess not..." Roxas said, looking away again.

"That's a compliment, baby," Axel sighed, leaning up to kiss Roxas and bring his eyes back to him. Then, with a look of determination in his eyes, Axel dug into his pocket, never looking away. Roxas' eyes grew huge when he saw what Axel held in his hand. Axel tsked at him playfully, but pulled the small velvet box up to rest between them both all the same. "No need to get all paranoid, Rox—it's nothing like _that_… I was going to wait until a little later, but I can't stand those lonely looks you're giving me."

Then, Axel seemed to take a deep breath, and then used both his hands to slowly pop open the lid of the box. Roxas seriously couldn't breathe anymore. This was all too, too much. Within the center of the lovely silk lining sat a marvelous ring. It was simple and petite, two platinum bands entwining together round and round, with a thin line of crystal between them. There is was. Sitting there.

"I love you, Roxas." Axel's voice was low, husky, firm. "I will wait for you for as long as you'll let me. Whenever you're ready—with anything...with everything—I'm yours. Hell, I'm already yours. One-hundred percent."

"You..." Roxas blinked, trying to push away his dizziness. "I think...I'm gonna faint..."

"Well, don't do that," Axel scolded lightly, but tilted his head rather demurely, pressing his lips together and peering up at him carefully. "Do you want it, Roxas?"

Roxas couldn't believe he was asking that question.

"_Yeah_," he exhaled, nodding slowly at first, and then more vigorously. The grin that broke out across Axel's face was heart-wrenching. He carefully plucked the ring from its nest and set the box aside on the table. And taking one of Roxas' hands, he slowly slid the ring onto his finger. The metal was cool against his burning skin. It fit perfectly. Roxas stared at it, then looked at Axel, words still lost. He finally managed, "It's beautiful."

"It was my mother's," Axel said, gripping Roxas' fingers in his hand and squeezing hard. "She had small hands like you... I had a feeling it would fit."

Roxas launched himself at Axel. They toppled over backward onto the ground, Roxas clinging to Axel by his neck, burrowing his face into the redhead's chest and trembling with his tears. Axel said nothing, but wrapped him up and held him tight against him. They lay like that, in the grass and the flowers until Roxas could finally breathe. Could finally look Axel in the eye.

"Marley," Roxas gasped. Axel watched him, expression betraying nothing. "The...the storm. I was visiting Marley."

"Who's Marley, baby?" Axel asked, lifting a hand to smooth Roxas' hair, the motion soothing his nerves.

"My little sister," he said, sniffling. Axel blinked and tilted his head.

"I didn't know you have one," he said quietly. Roxas shook his head, looking away for a moment before forcing himself to look back up.

"_Had_," he amended, heart beating hard against his chest. "She died seven years ago, when I was nine."

"I'm sorry," Axel murmured, still caressing him gently, calming him from the outside in. Roxas took a deep breath.

"It was my fault," he blurted. Axel paused, and then he frowned. "It was because my parents found out I was gay."

"Rox…?" He didn't let Axel get any futher.

"They'd been worried for a while, since it's always been obvious," he began. "I don't know how they figured it out. But one day, they sat me down and asked me. And I told them I liked boys. They...they were really religious. So they got really upset...angry... The more they tried to talk to me, they saw I wasn't changing. They tried everything. Counseling at my church, baptism, a psychiatrist... They got more desperate every time. They'd lock me in my room, force me to play with their friends' daughters. I wasn't allowed to see my guy friends anymore. If they thought I said something particularly queer, I couldn't eat dinner that night...

"One night, it got really bad. I don't remember why. I don't remember most of it. I know my mom threw something. I remember because it broke, and shattered, and I cut myself on the pieces when I fell down. One of them hit me or pushed me, I don't remember who... Kept hitting me... I blacked out and I woke up in the hospital with stitches and bruises... My mom was the one who apologized, cried and told me she'd never let anything like that happen again. But my dad... He was still furious. The doctors wouldn't even let him into my room. It was... It was because I asked to see Marley that..."

Roxas' breath caught mid-sentence. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying to draw the pain somewhere else, somewhere besides his heart, where it pounded so furiously.

"She was there at the hospital, too," he went on, unable to open his eyes again. "When I asked if I could see her, my father refused. Picked her up and took her, kicking and screaming out of the hospital, and put her in the car. My mom went with them. She said she was going to let my dad stay at the house, and just bring Marley back with her alone. They never came back."

"What happened...?" Axel asked after a long pause of silence. Roxas inhaled.

"A car accident," he answered. "They pulled right out in front of a truck...right out of the hospital parking lot... My dad, they said he was too angry to drive...that he wasn't paying attention... I shouldn't have... I just wanted to make sure Marley was okay... I wanted to see her...to tell her everything was going to be okay... That... I just..."

He couldn't say anymore. He broke down into sobs, burying his face into his hands and curling up in a little ball again. Axel sat up, moving to sit Roxas comfortably in his lap, and he cradled him as he cried, holding him in nice and tight. Rocking him back and forth and murmuring sweet, soothing noises Roxas couldn't decipher. He clung to Axel's shirt, clung to his strength and his solidity. Clung to what kept him there. Clung to that affection, that warmth, that _love_.

"I just wanted to see her again," he whimpered, unable to stop the tears. Unable to stop the pain he'd kept inside for years from bursting forth, through every part of his body. "I was worried... I didn't want her to get hurt in the crossfire because of me... I just... _Marley_..."

"Hey," Axel hushed gently, "Hey, it's not your fault, Roxas. You had no control over any of that."

"But if I hadn't asked to see her…" Roxas sniffled, shaking hard. Axel squeezed him tighter, as if that could contain the tremors. "If I hadn't come out to my parents... If I wasn't gay..."

"Oh, baby," Axel whispered, pressing his lips to Roxas' head. "No... Don't think like that."

"But it's _true_!" Roxas cried, voice breaking. "She'd still be alive if I wasn't like this..."

"Shh." Axel held Roxas' head to his chest. "You are perfect just the way you are, Roxas. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't do."

"But—"

"Roxas," Axel cut him off, looking down at him with hard, glistening eyes and holding his head in place with a single hand. Roxas' lip quivered as Axel told him firmly, "You did not hold a gun to your sister's head. You did not kill her, do you understand me? You were both victims that day. To ignorance and intolerance and a whole lot of other things that shouldn't exist in this world. That was _not_ your fault. You were nine. You weren't responsible for your parents' action, Roxas. You are _not_ responsible for her death."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" he whispered. Axel pressed his lips together, that same distant sorrow creeping into his expression.

"Because when we love someone, we feel responsible for their happiness and wellbeing," he told him, the hold on his head becoming a sweet caress down his cheek. "We want to do everything we can to ensure their life is a good one. We want to protect them, because we would do anything for them. But we are human, Roxas. We don't have control over everything. We never will. We can't see the future or manipulate the way others act or feel. You did nothing wrong, Roxas. It was _not_ your fault."

Roxas couldn't think of anything to say. So instead he cried, and Axel let him. He held him until all the tears ran out, and there was nothing left but sniffles and the world was dark with night. The paper lanterns and the candles on the table burned on brightly, scaring away the shadows. By the time Roxas was done, he was exhausted. His eyes ached and his cheeks were stiff with salt, the rest of his body cramped from being curled in a ball in Axel's lap. But he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to go anywhere. As if reading his mind, somehow knowing he had reached a quiet calm, Axel leaned forward and touched his lips to Roxas' ear.

"You know, your cake is going to melt if you don't eat it soon," he whispered, and Roxas couldn't help it when his lips twitched upward, when his body shook a little with quiet laughter. Axel nuzzled him. "You're going to let all my hard work go to waste?"

Roxas giggled despite himself, and let Axel pick them both off the ground. He even let Axel brush all the dirt off him, and returned the favor with a rosy blush scorching his cheeks. Taking his hand, Axel led Roxas to his chair again and did the honors of cutting into the small cake for him. He was right. Between the mild spring air and the candles, the icing was beginning to run a little, but it was still perfectly intact. Roxas laughed out loud when he saw the inside of the cake was layered-a perfect stripe of strawberry and cream filling right in the center.

"You did _not_ make this by yourself!" he claimed, warranting a look of good-natured, offended surprise from Axel.

"I did so!" he argued, pulling his chair around the table so he could sit right beside Roxas. He plucked the fork from the table and sliced off a chunk of moist, creamy cake. Roxas watched it with wide eyes as Axel put the morsel up to his lips. Timidly, Roxas closed his mouth around the fork and sucked every bit of chocolate off it. His tongue melted at the taste of rich chocolate and fresh strawberries blended perfectly together. Axel grinned at his expression. "I've been practicing for a month."

"You should major in cake baking," Roxas suggested, opening his mouth for another bite. Axel threw his head back and laughed, before consenting with another bite.

"I'll have you taste test all my creations," he murmured, his words fond and warm. Roxas licked his lips, then took a sip of the wine. The combination was heavenly. "I'll make whatever sweets you want me to, and I'll make them as many times as I need to until they meet your approval."

"Everything you do has my approval," Roxas giggled, ignoring the next bite Axel offered, and leaning in to steal a kiss instead. "Even when you're being an obnoxious pervert."

"Oh, really, now?" Axel chuckled, kissing him again and again. "What a generous change of heart."

"I've always loved those things," Roxas admitted, meeting Axel's gaze warmly. "They get under my skin. You get me on the edge of my seat. You're not like anyone else. Those things you say...they make me feel wanted. They're…one of the reasons why I love you too."

* * *

**I'm not apologizing for the ending this time. Usually I do. And I was almost going to this time as well. But...to me, this story felt done. That felt like the end when I wrote it. I don't like it when stories go on and on and on. If you guys really want, I can write an epilogue. I think I could make that happen if I got specific requests, but at the moment, this little story is over. And I really, truly hoped you guys enjoyed it. While I was writing this entire story, I was going through a really hard time. Mostly with my now ex-boyfriend. Him breaking up with me really devastated me, partly because he was my first boyfriend... Partly because it's hard to get over him when we work together. And he's kind of being an asshole in every way possible... It's like he enjoys doing things to hurt me... Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if you see a lot of pain etched throughout these chapters, because a lot of that pain is real. Because of that, this story came to mean...a lot to me. In a way, I'm grateful, because I've never felt so strongly about something directly influencing my life...in that way. I've never had those kinds of emotions to channel into a piece before, and I really love the way Seasons turned out, which is why I am not apologizing for it, even the ending. And I always hate my endings. If you think it's rushed, sloppy, overplayed, cliché, etc., that's perfectly fine. But I am not sorry for it. **

**Thank you again, Homra-kid! If anybody doesn't know, she made me a little piece of artwork for Chains, if you want to go check it out on her tumblr page (there's a link on her profile). Please go look! It's so wonderful! Thank you so much; I really hope you liked your happy ending. :) **

**Anywho. I think now, I'm going to go buy Bram Stoker's _Dracula_ and some manga. And then do my homework. I have Theatre History and Japanese to do. Oh, and for those interested in my other AkuRoku fanfictions, the drabble-sequel to Chains (and Birth) is now posted under the title of Kingdom. I hope you guys take a peek at it and tell me if you like it. **

**I love you all. Your reviews and support keep me going. They don't just keep me writing. They _really_ keep me going. 3**

**AnimeCountDown**


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